


Hold Me Like I'm More

by Teardropfires



Series: Give Me a Memory. [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Closeted Character, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-05-13 04:27:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 24,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19243834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teardropfires/pseuds/Teardropfires
Summary: “I kinda hate Vancouver.”“It’s just as cold here,” Kurt says as he snuggles into his blankets.“Yeah. But at least there, I have a working heater and a boyfriend to keep me warm,” he grumbles.“Well, there’s a fix for one of those,” Kurt says on a yawn.“Yeah, But Hunter doesn’t want me to hire escorts anymore.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story picks up a few months after. [ Mad Love. ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8799535/chapters/20173789)
> 
> It is a sequel, so I'd recommend reading that bad boy first.

Kurt jolts awake to the sound of a shrill bell going off. Alarmed, and a bit confused, it takes him a second to realize it’s his phone ringing. He feels around for it in the bed sheets. His eyes dart over to the clock on the bedside table and his heart sinks into his gut at the 3:45AM displayed on the screen. No one calls him that late unless it’s an emergency. 

With a dull pulse of panic, he prays to anyone willing to hear him that it’s not a Lima number as his hand clasps around the phone.

When he sees Sebastian’s name, he has a mixture of hesitation, relief, and annoyance. He takes a deep, hesitant breath before he slides his thumb across the screen to answer the call.

“Sebastian?,” he asks. 

“Hey babe,” Sebastian says, a little breathless. “Sorry, I know it’s late, but… Oh, Hey Paul.” Sebastian’s voice trails off as he pulls the phone away to chat with someone. “Yeah, man. That scene was intense, right?” 

Kurt sighs and sinks back into his pillow as Sebastian carries on his conversation on the other end of the line. His eyelids are getting heavier each time he blinks, and he feels right on the cusp of slipping back into what had been a pretty cool dream about Taylor Lautner when Sebastian calls his name. 

“Kurt?” Sebastian says. Kurt huffs out a small sigh. “Sorry about that. You still with me?”

“Hmm? What?” Kurt says and then turns over in bed. “Uh, yes. Yeah. What’s going on? How was set today?”

“Cold,” Sebastian groans, and Kurt can hear a door shut on the other end. “I kinda hate Vancouver.” 

“It’s just as cold here,” Kurt says as he snuggles into his blankets. 

“Yeah. But at least there, I have a working heater and a boyfriend to keep me warm,” he grumbles.

“Well, there’s a fix for one of those,” Kurt says on a yawn.

“Yeah, But Hunter doesn’t want me to hire escorts anymore.”

“I walked into that one.”

“Yep,” Sebastian says, laughing softly. The line goes quiet for a bit before Sebastian speaks up again. 

“I miss you,” he says softly.

Touched, and a little shocked by the admission, Kurt smiles into his pillow. “I miss you too. But you’ll be back soon. You’re only there for a couple more days. You’ll even be back for Thanksgiving.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” Sebastian says hesitantly. Kurt hears him take a deep breath before he speaks again. “That’s actually why I called you so late. After my last scene tonight, I got called into a meeting with the producers. They want me to stay here for a while longer. I don’t know why exactly. To do some screen tests or something.” 

“You don’t know what for?” Kurt says, sitting up again, more alert now. 

“I think they might offer me a show,” Sebastian laughs, a little surprised huff of disbelief before he continues, voice in awe, “my own show. Like a spin off or something. At least that’s what Hunter thinks is happening. That, or I’m going to be crossing over to another series on the network. But...”

He trails off.

“Bas, that’s great!” Kurt says, smiling again. 

“Yeah.”

Kurt frowns. “Why aren’t you excited?”

“No, no, no. I am!” Sebastian says quickly. He’s quiet for a moment longer before he sighs. “It’s just that If I get my own show, well, I’ll be gone a lot. Hell I’m only a guest star at this point and I’ve been in Vancouver for collectively like 5 months or something over the past year. I don’t really want to be away from home that long.”

“But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Sebastian.” 

“I know. I know. I’m just being stupid,” He says and Kurt can practically hear his shrug. “I was just excited to come home. To be back in New York, see you, have sex with something other than my hand.” 

Kurt rolls his eyes. “Sebastian.”

“I’m serious,” Sebastian laughs, it dims into a sigh, “Kurt, I think for the first time in my life I’m -- like homesick or something.”

“Aw,” Kurt teases.

“I hate you,” Sebastian says and groans. 

“Listen,” Kurt says, switching back to being supportive. “Don’t freak out until you find out how much longer you’ll have to be there. It could only be a few more days, okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right.” 

“Ohhh,” Kurt croons into the phone as he wraps his arms around his pillow. “Say that again? I like it when you talk facts.” 

“Alright, bye,” Sebastian says, huffing out another laugh.

“Love you,” Kurt says. 

“Love you too,” Sebastian says and then adds. “See you soon, hopefully.”

 

*

Kurt may have been naively optimistic when he told Sebastian his time in Vancouver would only be extended by a few days. 

_ Seventeen days and counting _ , Kurt thinks as he doodles a tiny broken heart next to the date on his calendar hung on the side of his cubicle. He pulls back with a sigh as he looks at the growing collection of doodles on the calendar. One on each day past the day Sebastian was supposed to be home. He’s never said he couldn’t be dramatic at times.

Startled away from gazing longingly at dates, he almost jumps out of his skin when a stack of manila folders is thrown onto his desk.  Kurt looks up to the source of his anxiety and scowls when he sees Cayden's smug face looking down at him. 

“Mr. Gold says we’re spending too much on events and wants an analysis done of our last 50 to see what areas we can cut back on,” Cayden says, in the lazy drawl that Kurt has grown to despise these last few months working in the events department. Kurt musters up a smile from somewhere and nods.  

“Sure, I can do that,” Kurt says and flips open the first folder. “I can probably have it done by Wednesday,” Kurt says glancing at his calendar.

“It needs to be done by Monday morning,” Cayden says, sounding bored.

Kurt stares at him. “It’s 3:45 on a Friday. There’s no way I can get this done without working all weekend.”

“Then at least you’ll  _ finally _ have weekend plans,” Cayden says with a glance over to Kurt’s calendar. He grins smugly back at Kurt. “Have fun.”

Kurt sits there seething as the other man walks away. He takes a deep breath and does what he always does when Cayden does something to annoy or infuriate him. He starts up his mantra of  _ This is only temporary _ . Over and over until he starts to believe it again. Isabelle had assured him the transition between departments would not be easy but his role was definitely important. 

With that in mind Kurt gets to work on his project. He lets himself get lost in the work and doesn’t realize how many hours have passed by until his phone buzzes with an incoming call from Sebastian. 

Kurt answers the call on autopilot. 

“Hey babe,” he says as he squints down at a note, hand-written, in the margins of the invoice he’s looking at.

“Um, hey,” Sebastian says slowly, “did you forget about our date?”

“What?” Kurt says, distracted, and then realizes as he looks in alarm to his calendar that has a  _ “PD@6” _ written next to the sad little broken heart. He glances at the time to see 6:31. “Crap. Sebastian, I’m sorry. I got a project dumped on me today and I got swept up in it.” 

Kurt looks down at his notes. “I think I’ll be at a stopping point soon. Maybe 20 minutes. Will you be around then? I can call you on my way home.”

“Yeah sure.” Sebastian says. Kurt can hear some shuffling on the other end and then what sounds like a car door shutting. “Take your time.”  

Kurt sighs and looks back down to the scribbled note, trying to focus again. “I’m sorry, I’ll call you in a bit.”

“Yeah, yeah. You can make it up to me later,” Sebastian says, voice dripping with mirth.

“Sure,” Kurt scoffs, “Gotta go.”

When they hang up, Kurt lets his mind drift back into work-mode. He’s pretty sure he’s going to have a permanent scowl on his face from trying to figure out this mess. He swears under his breath when he looks up and realizes he’s zoned out for another 40 minutes. He carefully packs the folders into his bag while he tries to tamp down the annoyance thinking about the start to his weekend of work. 

Once he’s out of the elevator onto the ground floor, he pulls out his phone to call Sebastian. As it rings he contemplates the idea of just ubering home; completely fed up with other people today, he thinks that the double digit price might be worth it. He looks down at his watch, trying to calculate his time, and has to sidestep a guy in his peripheral with a slightly annoyed huff.

Kurt pauses at a crosswalk as Sebastian finally answers.

“Hey babe,” Sebastian says. 

“Hi,” Kurt says, already a little relieved just hearing his voice. “Sorry, I know I’m much later than I said. Are you busy?”

“A little,” Sebastian says, and Kurt frowns at the slight breathiness of his voice, “trying to catch my boyfriend before the light turns.”

“Oh,” Kurt says, disappointed, but distracted as he watches, waiting for when the light changes. “Just call me when you… wait. What?”

“I like that sweater on you,” Sebastian says. “The color looks good.”

Kurt spins around and sees Sebastian waving his phone in the air. Relief floods Kurt and without even thinking about it, he launches himself down the sidewalk and latches his arms around Sebastian’s neck.  Sebastian laughs and pulls him into a hug. He squeezes him tightly for a few blissful seconds before he starts to pull away. Sebastian smiles at him before he steps away to put a bit of distance between them. He shoots an anxious glance down each side of the crowded sidewalk. Kurt tamps down on the annoyance threatening to rise in him. 

Kurt tries not to be bothered by this. He understands why Sebastian is anxious, but it seems like every time Sebastian’s back in town they encounter more and more people who recognize him. Which, Kurt won’t deny, had been pretty cool at first. It was fun to watch Sebastian squirm a little bit when people stared at him a bit too long, like they were trying to place where they knew him from. But as time passed, more people started to come up and ask for his autograph, and compliment the latest episode they’d seen him in. Kurt even played photographer for some of them. It was all in good fun, he and the other roommates even teased him a bit about it, that is until they almost got caught making out in a bar bathroom one night. Not Kurt’s classiest moment, but after that their PDA, which had not been that much to begin with, dwindled down to almost non-existent outside of their apartment. 

Kurt straightens his shirt, a nervous habit, and then clears his throat. “What are you doing here?” 

Sebastian smiles at him and then nods his head behind him and steps aside to point at a sleek black SUV waiting in front of the entrance of the office building. Kurt stares at it for a full ten seconds before looking back to Sebastian with a look of confusion. 

“You rented a car?” he asks. Sebastian just laughs and walks towards the car and waves for him to follow. Sebastian opens the door and nods his head towards the open door. Kurt complies and goes to get inside.

Kurt barely suppresses his gasp when he sees the interior of the car. 

“Sebastian,” he breathes out, as he takes in the fancy set up of champagne and assortment of chocolate dipped fruits. He’s about to comment on how romantic it is when Sebastian pushes him inside. 

“Yeah, yeah, come on,” Sebastian says then climbs in behind him. 

“You’re such a charmer,” Kurt grumbles as he sits down. 

“Well, your butt was in my face and on display for the entire street to see,” Sebastian says as he closes the door. 

“My butt in your face has never been a problem for you before,” Kurt says, and then looks at the driver who looks away quickly when their eyes meet in the rearview mirror.

Sebastian reaches over and squeezes his knee and when he looks at Sebastian he’s smiling. “True, but I’ve never been much of a sharer.”

He leans over to kiss Kurt who pulls back and throws another worried glance at the driver. “Seb.” 

Sebastian huffs out a laugh and shakes his head.  “It’s fine, we’re safe,” he says before he pulls back and turns towards the driver. “We’re ready, Jacob. And could you raise the partition please?” 

“Absolutely, sir,” Jacob says as he starts the car as Sebastian reaches for the bottle chilling in front of them. 

“So,” Kurt says once the dark partition is raised and Sebastian has poured them both a glass of champagne. “I didn’t realize the life of a guest star was so glamorous.” 

Sebastian laughs. “It’s not, but the life of a Smythe who’s no longer cut off is.” 

Kurt frowns into his glass. Sebastian grabs his hand and squeezes it. “None of that.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to,” Sebastian says. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter where the money is coming from. The important thing is I’m back in town and I plan on spoiling my boyfriend for the weekend.”

“Well, cheers to that,” Kurt says and clinks his glass against Sebastian's. “I wish we could celebrate news about the show. Still haven’t heard back?”

Sebastian nods and takes a sip of his glass. He places it down in the holder as the car begins to move. “Actually I did. We filmed a pilot last week. That’s why they kept making me do all those damn screen test.”

“Wait, a pilot for what?” Kurt asks. 

Sebastian picks up a piece of fruit to inspect. “My own show. Well, a spin off really, but yeah.” 

Kurt just stares at him. Sebastian bites into the fruit and nods before turning a confused look at him and offers the rest of the fruit. “Want some?”

“You’re getting your own show!” Kurt shouts, before practically throwing himself across the seat to lean in and kiss him.  Sebastian huffs out a laugh against his lips, and when Kurt pulls back he’s smiling at him. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kurt asks.

Sebastian shrugs and looks down at the fruit again. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to Jinx it. They also weren’t really sure we’d get the greenlight. It’s all happened so fast.” Sebastian pauses and looks up at Kurt. “ When I found out last week, I knew I was coming home soon.  I thought it would be cool to surprise you.” 

“Well, color me surprised,” Kurt says before picking up his glass again. “Not that I should be, you’ve been the highlight of that show for a while now.”

Sebastian just smirks and pops in the rest of the fruit into his mouth. He picks up his glass and Kurt extends his again. “Cheers to your very own show!”

Sebastian takes a sip but shrugs as he puts the glass down in the cup holders again “Nothing’s set in stone yet.”

“But you filmed the pilot. You’ve got a whole cast and everything.”

“Doesn’t matter. The network could still not pick it up,” Sebastian says. Kurt just stares at him. “They’d be crazy not to. Everyone loves you. Who do I need to email the Sebastian Smythe Tumblr tag to?”

Sebastian just smiles softly and shakes his head, “Please god - no one.”

“Why are you so calm about this?” He asks, sitting his glass down as well. “This is huge.”

“I know, I know.” Sebastian says and looks out the window. “I just-- It’s already getting hard you know?” He looks at Kurt and bites his lip nervously before continuing. “All the hiding. I hate that I can’t even hug you in public without worrying who’s seeing us.”

Kurt bites down on is bottom lip to keep himself from blurting out something. Sebastian looks back to him in the silence. “What?” He asks softly. 

Kurt shrugs. “It’s nothing.”

“Kurt,” Sebastian hedges. 

“We live in New York,” Kurt says finally. “It’s easy to disappear here. We wouldn’t exactly have to hide, we could be ourselves.”

“I got asked for a selfie twice while I was waiting for you to come downstairs,” Sebastian says. 

“Well I work near Time Square, of course--”

“Okay fine,” Sebastian interrupts, “Why don’t you provide me with a map of places I can make out with you then.” 

“Sebastian, you don’t have to be a jerk about it,” Kurt says, frustration bubbling out unexpectedly. “I’m just trying to help! I mean the world is a different place now. You can be gay and a lead actor.” 

“I’m not g--” Sebastian starts and then takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what I am. But It’s not that easy, Kurt. You know that. And my parents - fuck -  I just got them back on my side. I don’t want to lose them again.  _ Shit _ .”

Sebastian puts his hands over his face and takes a few more calming breaths. Kurt hates to see him like this. It’s hard, because Kurt hasn’t really had to worry about hiding who he was since he was in the 10th grade. It’s such an unfamiliar sensation to have to, or even want to. His immediate response is to just…  _ not _ . Sebastian’s right. Kurt does know it’s not that easy. Sebastian’s got a lot of different factors that come into play that Kurt never had to worry about. The main one being the fear of disappointing a conservative family, again. 

Kurt climbs over the cup holders, careful to avoid the protruding glasses, and straddles Sebastian’s legs. Sebastian smiles up at him and wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him close as he leans in to kiss Kurt softly. 

“Hey,” Kurt says quietly when he pulls back. “I’m proud of you no matter what happens.  And I’m not going anywhere.”

Sebastian sighs and looks away .”You say that now. But this isn’t fair to you. I’ve never been fair to you.”

Kurt turns his cheek back towards him. “And I’ll keep saying it. I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Sebastian says and smiles before he kisses him again. Kurt leans into it, and wraps his arms around Sebastian’s neck. He lets himself get lost in the feeling of being held by him again.

Kurt won’t admit it, especially since Sebastian is taking the distance harder than he thought he would, but it’s been hard having Sebastian gone for weeks at a time. He likes to consider himself a pretty non-clingy boyfriend, he’s completely aware of, and supportive of, Sebastian’s life outside of their relationship, but the truth is that the near three extra weeks that Sebastian was in Vancouver nearly drove Kurt insane. Stress at work didn’t help, but that wasn’t completely the cause. He missed this. He missed him. 

“Mmmm,” Sebastian says as he pulls back. He lets his hands roam up Kurt’s back and settle at his neck. He smiles and pulls Kurt in for one more quick kiss. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Kurt says. He pulls back and runs a hand through Sebastian’s hair, Sebastian catches his wrist and turns his face to kiss his pulse point. “And phone calls don’t really do it for me anymore.”

“When we can even make them work,” Sebastian says and sighs. Then he frowns, concern in his voice. “What project did they give you that has you stressed out.” 

Kurt rolls his eyes and crawls off of Sebastian to sit back in his seat. Sebastian pulls Kurt’s legs into his lap and starts to untie his shoes. Kurt reaches for his glass and takes a long sip of his drink before he launches into his tirade about Cayden. 

“And it’s not even like he’s been there longer than me,” Kurt says, already growing frustrated. “ He’s just another assistant like me. He’s just been working with Gold longer so he feels some sort of seniority because -- oh god, that feels good.”

Kurt leans his head against the cushion and takes a deep breath as Sebastian massages his foot.

“Keep going,” Sebastian encourages. Kurt sighs and continues on about the stresses of working in two departments. 

Kurt’s half way through a bottle of champagne when he’s wrapping up his long rant about how he’s convinced Cayden is passing along his own assignments to him ( _ because there’s no goddamn way he’s doing his job and has time to play candy crush all day).  _ Sebastian presses his fingers hard on one of the tense muscles in his foot, and Kurt sighs loudly in contentment. 

As he notices the SUV pulling to a stop, he sits up straighter to look out the window and squints at a row of beautiful brownstone houses down the block. Slightly confused, he turns a curious frown to Sebastian. “Where are we?” 

Sebastian just smiles and reaches down to pick up Kurt’s shoes and slides them back onto his feet. “You’ll see,” He says. Kurt pulls his feet back once Sebastian is done putting on his shoes. Sebastian reaches forward and taps on the glass of the partition and it slowly rolls down to reveal Jacob. “This time tomorrow, okay?” Sebastian says and reaches through the opening to hand Jacob a folded bill.

“You got it, Mr. Smythe,” Jacob says. Sebastian bends down and grabs the remaining chocolate covered fruits and then points down to the bucket of champagne at Kurt’s feet. 

“Grab the bottles,” He says before he opens the door and slides out of the car. 

Still puzzled, Kurt grabs the bottles and his bag and gets out behind him.

“Have fun,” Jacob says slowly, and when Kurt looks over his shoulder at the driver, the man is giving him a sly once over that makes Kurt’s skin tingle uncomfortably.  Kurt closes the door of the SUV with more force than he means to, just needing to put some sort of barrier between him in the guy. He watches it drive away with a sense of unease growing in his stomach. 

He takes a deep breath as he turns towards walkway and up to the door left open for him.

As he steps inside, he immediately appreciates the nicely decorated interior. He follows the hallway toward the only room lit, passing a set of stairs as he goes by. He enters into a tastefully furnished kitchen. Kurt sits the bottles of champagne from the car on the counter where Sebastian has sat down the fruit and turns to admire the room. 

“Where are we?” Kurt asks again. 

“Brooklyn,” Sebastian says, amusement coloring his voice. 

“Okay,” Kurt says slowly. “Why are we in Brooklyn?”

“Because I wanted to show you something,” He says and walks back towards the entrance of the kitchen. “Come on.” 

Kurt follows behind Sebastian slowly taking it all in. They pass a few rooms that Kurt resists the urge to stop and look inside. He follows quietly behind Sebastian until they get to the last room on the top floor and pauses in front of it. 

“You ready?” Sebastian asks, excitement evident.

“Did you buy this house?” Kurt asks bluntly. 

Sebastian’s smile turns into confusion for a second, “What? No my parents bought this house,” He says and then adds as he turns the knob on the door and pushes it open. “And before you ask, no, they did not buy it for me. You, Rachel, and Santana are still stuck with me.” 

“Then why are we here,” Kurt asks and follows Sebastian into the room. His heart skips a beat once he steps inside and his eyes are immediately drawn to big ornate windows in the center of the room. Kurt eyes widen as he steps closer and takes in the most beautiful view of the Brooklyn Bridge waterfront and the Manhattan skyline.

“Because they gave me the room with the best view,” Sebastian says. 

“Holy…” Kurt starts and trails off as he walks closer to the window, dropping his bag next to the big bed as he goes. 

“I know,” Sebastian says.”Crazy huh?”

“Yes,” Kurt breathes out, in awe of the view. He’s having one of those moments that catch him off guard, one of those moments where he can’t really believe he lives here, in one of the greatest and most beautiful cities in the world. 

He’s not sure how long he stands there staring, but it isn’t until Sebastian snakes an arm around his waist and crooks his chin over his shoulder from behind that he thinks to ask, “Why?”

“Hmm?” Sebastian says, distracted, choosing that moment to plant a soft kiss to the side of Kurt's head before looking back at the view. 

Kurt steps out of Sebastian’s grip and tears his eyes away from the sunset-lit skyline to look at Sebastian. He crosses his arms, a defensive habit of his, before he clarifies,“Why did they buy it?” 

Sebastian shrugs, “I don’t know, really. I think they’ve finally realized I’m not moving back to Ohio, which was the original lawyer-bound plan.” 

Sebastian eyes Kurt’s stance warily and continues. “They’re not huge fans of the city either. So this is close enough, and bourgeois enough, for them to make the investment.”

Sebastian laughs a little at that and then shrugs, “Plus my dad is retiring soon, maybe one more term, so they’re looking for a new place to settle down.”

“Okay... fine,” Kurt says and then takes a deep breath,” But why did you bring me here?”

Sebastian frowns.”What do you mean? Don’t you like it?”

“I love it,” Kurt says, voice a little breathless just thinking about that view. He shakes his head, like he’s trying to physically to clear it from his head. “But I mean do they know we’re here. That  _ I’m  _ here?”

“I mean. I told them I was going to stay here for a weekend,” Sebastian says. “They said it didn’t matter. I have a key and my own room here, so it’s not like we’re not welcomed.”

“But  _ we _ aren’t,” Kurt says, his hand gesturing between the two of them, before he looks around the room. “This isn’t  _ our _ room, Sebastian.”

“Kurt,” Sebastian sighs. “What does it matter?”

“It matters because have you seen this house?” Kurt points towards the door. “Your parents bought a three story house on the Brooklyn Promenade to  _ retire. _ If that doesn’t scream ‘Someone give me grandchildren’ I don’t know what does!” 

“What is your point, Kurt?” Sebastian snaps. 

“My point is that you won’t come out to your parents but you don’t mind sleeping with your boyfriend in their house?”

“Kurt, I don’t see how that’s the same thing,” Sebastian says voice rising. He opens his mouth to say something else but he stops and takes a deep breath. He releases it with a huge sigh and turns away from Kurt for a second before turning back to him to take a seat on the bed.  When he speaks again he’s quieter, and Kurt sees a flicker of that blank calmness that makes his insides crawl. He starts to backpedal in his mind before Sebastian can even say anything.

“Listen, I didn’t bring you here to once again throw my parents money in your face. I get it, you don’t like that they’ve suddenly started supporting me again,” Sebastian says. 

“I just don’t understand,” Kurt says, his brain automatically going back to a favourite argument of theirs, his parents stance on gay rights. “Your parents campa--”

“My parents are not perfect,” Sebastian interrupted. “They’re old, and have dated ways of thinking, and projected those thoughts onto their only son along with expectations of carrying on a legacy that has been set in place for decades, Kurt. A legacy that I’ve already shot to shit by becoming an actor and  _ not _ a lawyer.”

“Well maybe you can play one on TV,” Kurt quips, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice. Sebastian glares at him. Kurt sighs. 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m not being fair. Honestly, I just don’t understand why you brought me here. Isn’t it kind of weird?”

“Honestly?” Sebastian says. Kurt nods, mouthing ‘obviously’ and Sebastian rolls his eyes and continues. “Well  _ honestly _ , I brought you here because I didn’t want to have to be quiet.”

Sebastian stands slowly and takes a deliberate step towards Kurt. “I haven’t seen you in almost two months and the only -- the  _ only--  _ thing that’s gotten me through all that time away is thinking about all the things I wanted to do to you once I saw you again.” 

Sebastian takes a few more steps towards Kurt who backs up instinctively, mouth going dry at the thought of where this moment could be heading. Sebastian continues. 

“Most of which would not go over well with our roommates,” He says and then smirks. “And I’m not really interested in getting another noise complaint from a hotel.” 

Kurt’s gulp is audible in the silence of the room and Sebastian leans in. Kurt’s prepared for a kiss, but Sebastian’s lips skate off of Kurt’s lips, across his cheek and settle against his ear to whisper, “And I know for a fact that the neighbors on either side of this building are gone for the weekend,  _ and _ that there's not a very clear view of this window from the street. So,” He says, crowding Kurt against the window for full effect. “Be as loud as you want.”

Kurt’s heart beats rapidly in his chest, his resolve to make them talk about their relationship crumbling by the second as he spreads his legs wider for Sebastian to settle in against. Kurt leans in to kiss him softly as he grinds against him slowly. Sebastian lets out an honest to god whimper that makes Kurt smirk against his lips and pull back.

“Who says I’ll be the loud one?” Kurt teases. Sebastian huffs out a laugh that sounds more like a relieved sigh as Kurt reaches down to undo Sebastian’s jeans. Kurt lets him capture his lips in another kiss. Sebastian moans in his mouth as he takes him in his hand and strokes him slowly.  When he pulls back Sebastian smirks, eyes already glazing over. 

“Wanna play a game?” Sebastian asks, his breath hitching into a slight gasp at the end.

Kurt can’t help but grin back as he nods. He likes his odds. 

 

*

Kurt wakes up alone in bed. He sits up slowly and takes in the soft light on the horizon through the window. Groggily he registers that it’s sometime in the early morning, and after he digs around the comforter for his phone he confirms that thought. 

He takes his time searching for his briefs. He’s in no real rush to leave the comfort of the bed but is a little curious to find his boyfriend. Once he puts on a pair of underwear thats he’s pretty sure are his, he cracks open the door and peeks down the hallway. 

“Sebastian,” He whispers. He’s not sure why. He’s aware that they’re there alone, but habits of sneaking around trying not to wake roommates are drilled into him. Hell hath no fury like Santana woken up before her alarm clock.

He pads around the landing, checking in the other rooms, before he heads down to the ground floor where he can see the kitchen light on. 

Once in the kitchen, Kurt pauses in the entryway to admire the boy in front of him. In only his boxer briefs, Sebastian sits on a barstool at the island in the middle of the kitchen looking down at his tablet. He scrolls slowly on some unknown page and sips quietly at a cup of coffee. Kurt knocks softly on the wall next to him. 

Sebastian’s eyes snap to him and crinkle up when we smiles. Kurt’s heart must be trying to qualify for the Olympics by how hard it flips in his chest. 

“Morning,” Kurt says softly. He pushes off the wall and walks over to Sebastian who pulls him into a comfortable, warm hug. 

“Morning,” Sebastian replies, voice hoarse. Kurt smirks, his mind wandering to the night before. Sebastian moans echo in his head. He tries to hide his look of amusement by stealing Sebastian's cup of coffee. But it doesn’t get past Sebastian, king of smugness, who just rolls his eyes and takes his cup back from Kurt. 

“Whatever, Round Two will be all mine.”

“Round Two?” Kurt asks and wraps his arms around him. He plants a kiss on his cheek and whispers into his ear. “I thought I already won that.”

He kisses again down his jaw, “And Round Three.” 

Sebastian smiles and turns his face to kiss him quickly on the lips. “Fine, Round Four will be mine.” 

“Mhm,” Kurt hums before he moves to search around the kitchen for another mug. “You’re up early. I figured you’d be a little jet lagged.” 

“I am,” Sebastian says with a laugh that turns into a groan “But I had a skype call with Hunter, who is in Australia right now. So the timing just worked better for him.”

“I see,” Kurt says finally finding the mugs and reaching up to grab one. On his way to the coffee he glances at the tablet in front of Sebastian. “What was the call about?”

“My options. You know in case the show isn’t picked up,” Sebastian says, reaching down to put the tablet into power save mode before turning to look back at Kurt. 

“And what are the odds of that?”

Sebastian shrugs, “I don’t know. It’s all still up in the air, I mean it’s not even pilot season. The timing just worked out with everyone they wanted involved in the show to start filming when we did. I know they are working on a full season just in case, but I don’t even know if the network has even seen it yet,” he pauses to take another sip of coffee. “It could be months before I know anything.” 

Kurt pours himself a cup of coffee as he thinks this over. The silence is comfortable. 

“So what are your options in the meantime?” Kurt asks after a while. 

“A few more guest spots,” Sebastian says. “I asked to do a play or at least  something in the city, but Hunter wants to capitalize on screen time while I’m still fresh in people's minds I guess. So that’ll likely take me back to Vancouver or LA.”

“That makes sense,” Kurt says. “I mean it sucks that you’ll have to leave again. But It could also prove to the network that you’re worth it. I mean if so many other shows want you.” 

“That’s what Hunter said,” Sebastian says, smiling a little bit. “Not sure why you two don’t get along. You guys think a lot alike.”

Kurt tries not to bristle at that, his interactions with Hunter have often been stilted and passive aggressive, at best.  Sebastian keeps telling Kurt that Hunter doesn’t know about the two of them, doesn’t even really talk about his relationship status at all, but Kurt can’t help but get the feeling that he disapproves of him and whatever he thinks their relationship is every time he’s around the man. 

“Yeah, well anyway,” Kurt says, and Sebastian laughs softly. “Why don’t you sound excited about it?”

“I am excited. I’m just … I don’t know, tired?” Sebastian says and shrugs. “And I know what I’m signing up for, hell  _ signed _ up for, but I’m a little sleep deprived. I’ll be more excited in a few days.” 

Kurt nods and lets it drop. He’s got an uneasy feeling settling in the pit of his stomach again. Part of him wants to tell Sebastian it’s all for the best, that he’s got a good thing going and that he’s worked hard and been through a lot to get here. But the other part of him, the part that wants nothing but to watch the skin around Sebastian’s eyes crinkle when he smiles agrees with Sebastian’s concern. A more selfish part of him wishes that he could hold his hand in public and walk next to him at the stage door, or not worry about being photograph at bars, and not be swept away in shady cars and off to secret spots.

“Are you happy?” Kurt asks, and he must have been lost in thought for a while because Sebastian looks up from his tablet with confusion.

“Hmm?” Sebastian says.

“Are you happy?” Kurt asks again. Sebastian smiles and motions for Kurt to come closer. When he complies, Sebastian wraps him up in another hug. Kurt puts his coffee down on the island. Sebastian hands settle around Kurt’s waist and he smiles up at him from his seat.

“I am now.”

“Sebastian, I’m serious,” Kurt says softly, cupping Sebastian’s face in his hands. He searches his face. Sebastian’s smile falters a little bit and he pulls out of Kurt’s hands before leaning his head against Kurt’s shoulder. 

Sebastian plants a kiss there and whispers softly against his skin. “So am I.”

Kurt’s heart quickens a bit and he turns to plant a soft kiss against the side of Sebastian’s head. Sebastian pulls back to look at him and Kurt cups his face again. “You don’t have to do thi--”

Kurt’s comment is cut off by Sebastian surging forward to kiss him. When he pulls back he kisses down Kurt’s neck. “Enough of this. I’m ready for Round Four.”

And okay, Kurt really wants to push it, he really wants to make sure Sebastian is happy with the choices he’s making, truly. But his body is hyper aware of the fact that he’s been without this touch for a long time and his brain kind of short circuits when Sebastian’s hand dips under his briefs and presses a dry finger against his hole. 

So instead of pushing Sebastian away and telling him all the comforting and reassuring things he wants to say to him, Kurt lets himself be kissed until he’s dizzy with want. He lets Sebastian guide him, face down, onto the kitchen island. He lets him hike up one of his legs onto the abandoned barstool. And breathes hot and heavily against the marble, starkly cool against his heated skin.   

“I didn’t realize you were so eager to lose.” Kurt tries, even though his breathing comes out faster as Sebastian pushes down his briefs and puts a hand on either one of his butt cheeks.

“We’ll see about that,” Sebastian says.

Kurt has what feels like only half a second of realization of what’s about to happen before he’s arching off of the counter,  and completely overwhelmed by the press of Sebastian’s tongue against his hole. He lets out a choked off moan, to which Sebastian’s response is a long hum of approval against him that makes Kurt’s skin break out in goosebumps. 

Sebastian works him open with a mix of long and deliberate swipes of his tongue and pointed thrust that make Kurt ache for  _ more. _ Kurt’s already felt like he’s lost this round by the time Sebastian stands behind him and pushes into him with ease. His pace is relentless from the start, and it makes Kurt feel like the air is being punched out of him repeatedly. 

It’s not long after that he’s desperate for release, and he leans on his elbow just enough to reach down and wrap a hand around himself. He works himself in disjointed, uneven pulls from Sebastian’s thrusts, but he doesn’t care because he can feel his orgasm building, and he wants to cry a bit because damn it he just needs this. And if Sebastian could just keep hitting. That. Spot. Right. There. 

Sebastian stops moving suddenly. 

“Sebast--” Kurt starts to shout out, because he was so goddamn close. But before he can even get his name out completely, Sebastian puts a hand on his mouth to silence him. 

“Shh, shh, shh,” Sebastian says frantically. Kurt quiets, letting his head thunk to the counter. Over the sound of his heart beating wildly in his ears, he can hear the sound of keys jingling loudly down the hallway.

“F _ uck! _ ” Sebastian whispers harshly.

“Is that?” Kurt tries but he can barely breathe, let alone think straight.

“Shit, shit,” Sebastian says and pulls out of Kurt abruptly. Kurt moans loudly, he can’t fucking help it. But Sebastian grabs him by the arm and both of their discarded underpants and pulls him towards the hallway, still not really able to catch his breath. “It’s my fucking parents, Kurt. Come on.” 

Kurt, wobbly legs and all, let's Sebastian lead him into the hallway and up the stairs. They barely  make it to the second landing when they hear the door swing open and hear Sebastian’s mother's voice in the silence. 

“We’ve got to call someone about that door if it’s going to stick like that in the winter,” Sharon says and then calls out. “Sebastian, Honey? You here?”

“ _ Shit,”  _ Sebastian says again and quickens his pace down the hallway. He pushes Kurt inside of their room and closes the door softly. 

“What the hell are they doing here?” Kurt asks, his brain trying to catch up.

“If I knew that Kurt,” Sebastian says tossing his briefs at his chest, “Do you think I would have started fucking my boyfriend in the middle of the goddamn kitchen!”

“Shhh,” Kurt hisses as he bends down to put his briefs back on.

They both freeze when they hear footsteps in the hallway.  Sebastian’s eyes bug out and he looks around frantically, hurriedly stepping into his own pair of underwear. Sebastian’s eye settle on the unmade bed and he turns to Kurt looking hopeful. 

“I am not about to hide under your bed, Sebastian,” Kurt hisses.

Sebastian lets out an annoyed huff and turns towards the door. He motions behind him for Kurt to stand out of the way and cracks open the door to Kurt’s bafflement just as Sebastian’s mother gets to the door.

“Hey, Ma,” Sebastian says, voice the picture of innocence. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, me and Dad came to visit!” she says excitedly. “We just hated that we couldn’t make it up to visit while you were in Canada. And we knew you said you might be back there for Christmas next week so we thought we’d come here and spend the weekend with you!”

“Wow, that’s so, um, surprising,” Sebastian says, and Kurt rolls his eyes behind the door.

“I know!” She says. “Isn’t it great? Ooo honey, let me see how those curtains turned out. The designer we hired was a bit shifty in my opinion.”

“Oh wait! Mom, no!” Sebastian says. The door opens a bit and Sebastian steps through it and closes it behind him with a snap. Kurt leans in closer to hear them through the door.

“Sebastian, why can’t I come,” She pauses, suspicion coloring her tone, and then adds in a confused tone, “And why are you so sweaty?”

“Ask him if he’s got someone up there,” comes the muffled voice of Sebastian’s dad downstairs. “There are two mugs down here.”

“Last time I checked you were a lawyer not a detective, Dad.” Sebastian shouts.

“Sebastian,” His mother whispers, conspiratorially. “You’ve got a friend in there?”

“Um,” Sebastian says uncomfortably. “Well sort of.”

Kurt scoffs. 

“Sebastian!”

“Well! I thought I’d have the place to myself,” Sebastian defends. “And! I haven’t been home for a while.  I didn’t want to be rude bringing someone home on my first day back at the apartment!”

“So this is a girlfriend?” Stan says, voice closer now.

“Dad, come on, not you too,” Sebastian says. “Listen you two just go downstairs. Make some breakfast or whatever and I’ll show my … friend out. “

Kurt takes in a deep calming breath.

“If this is a girlfriend I want to meet her,” Sebastian’s mom says. And Kurt really shouldn’t be surprised that his boyfriend is so damn stubborn, it clearly runs in the family. 

Sebastian groans in frustration. “Okay; one, not a girlfriend. Two, I doubt anyone here will want to have a “meet the parents” scenario happen after I remind you what you just almost walked in on.” Kurt’s face blazes with belated embarrassment because  _ holyshit that was so close. _ “And three, this will probably be the last time this happens thanks to this interaction right here. So please, just for a second, give me some privacy and let me handle this. Okay?”

“Okay, okay, son. It’s fine we get it,” Sebastian’s dad says. “Come on, Sharon.”

“Are you using protection?” Sharon asks. 

“Mom!” Sebastian says at the same time his dad says “Sharon!” and  at the same time Kurt mouths “Oh shit,” Because no they had definitely not used a condom downstairs. He buries his face in his hands muffling a groan.

“Well, someone has to ask the tough questions.”

“You can ask them later,” Stan says. “Give my boy some space. Go go,go.”

There’s a few seconds of feet shuffling away before there’s a soft whisper. “I’ll keep you’re mother busy if you need some time to finish.”

“Oh god, Dad. No,” Sebastian breathes out, voice strained. “That won’t be necessary.” 

There’s a longer moment of silence before Sebastian opens the door in closes it quickly. “Fuck me,” he breathes out. 

“Well not while  _ they’re _ here,” Kurt deadpans.

Sebastian looks at him, startled for a second, and then claps his hand over his mouth covering an outburst of hysterical laughter. And Kurt wants to be annoyed, he was well and truly on his way to a very satisfying orgasm. But any arousal has been quickly diminished by the arrival of Sebastian’s parents, so he gives into the moment and laughs along with Sebastian. 

They take a few moments to calm down and Kurt starts to move around the room, racking his brain for a way to leave unnoticed by Stan and Sharon.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian says. And when Kurt turns to look at him he’s sitting on the bed staring at his hands.

“It’s fine,” Kurt says and then pulls his shirt on over his head. “You didn’t know they’d be here.”

“I know but,” Sebastian says and then looks at him. “But you shouldn’t have to hide. I told you it’s not fair --”

“Sebastian. Babe,” Kurt says  hopping around on one foot as he puts on his shoe. He’s in his crisis mode and now is not the time for a meltdown. “One problem at a time, okay? Can you call me an uber?” 

“I can just call Jacob,” Sebastian says and pulls out his phone.

“No, just call an uber,” Kurt says quickly. He really doesn’t want to ride alone with that guy, but he doesn’t have a good reason or time to explain that to Sebastian. “He’s not expecting us until later so he might be further out.  There’s probably an uber down the street.”

Sebastian nods and taps on his phone. After a few seconds he puts the phone down and sighs .”Should be here in 5 minutes.” 

“K,” Kurt says and tosses Sebastian his jeans and shirt. “Get dressed”

“Why do I have to get dressed?” Sebastian asks.

“Fine, don’t.” Kurt says. “Distract your parents in your underwear. I don’t care. Just please go and distract them. Also, text the driver that I’ll be on the corner down the street.”

Kurt looks around one last time for anything he might need before he picks up and pockets his phone and then grabs his bag from its spot by the foot of the bed. 

He turns to give Sebastian an impatient look when he realizes he hasn’t done either of the things he’s asked. He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Sebastian,” He starts, but Sebastian stands quickly and pulls his shirt over his head. 

“Okay, okay,” He grumbles and then reaches for the door. He pauses for a second and looks behind him, looking torn, before he walks away from the door to kiss Kurt. 

“I really am sorry,” He says softly. Kurt huffs out a laugh, more out of exhaustion than amusement, and wraps his arms around Sebastian for a quick hug. 

“It’s fine,” Kurt says and leans up to kiss him again, letting his lips linger for a bit before pulling away. “It was fun while it lasted.”

“It was,” Sebastian says with a grin as he steps away. His grin turns sly as he opens the door. “And just when I was about to win, too.” 

“Yeah well, proof or it didn’t happen,” Kurt says, shooing him out the door. “Don’t forget to text the uber.” 

Sebastian waves him off and then heads down the hall toward the stairs. 

Kurt waits a full minute, all the while with his head out the door listening for sounds of talking, before he creeps out of the room and down the hall. When he gets to the stairs he slowly tip toes down them and leans as far as gravity will let him to peep in the entrance of the kitchen where Sebastian has his back to him, leaning against the doorframe and effectively blocking his parents from exiting. Kurt sighs and tip toes the rest of the way down and then quietly to the front door. Luckily it doesn’t stick for him, and he opens and closes the door behind him with no effort. 

Kurt doesn’t fully believe they have gotten away with it until he’s in the back seat of the uber that indeed meets him at the corner of the street. And on the drive back into Manhattan he lets his mind spiral out to all the ways that could’ve gone horribly wrong. 

By the time he’s made it up to his apartment and in his room, he’s worked himself into a mild panic about it. He pulls out his phone and calls the only person he can think to calm him down.

“Hey kiddo,” Burt says. Kurt immediately feels marginally better as Burt continues. “What’s up? Kinda early for a quick chat… everything okay?”

Kurt glances at the clock, he’s right, he’d forgotten that he and Sebastian had been up early. Everything that’s happened in the span of a couple of hours feels like at least half a day has passed.

“Oh god,” Kurt starts. He lets out a shaky breath. “I didn’t even realize the time. You’re probably just waking up. Or I woke you up. I’m sorry. God, I can call back if you need me to.”

“Hey, hey. Slow down,” Burt says calmly. “It’s okay, Kurt. What’s going on? Talk to me.”

Kurt pauses for a second, his breathing uneven and a little painful. He wants to cry or scream, or both. He wants his dad, he wants a hug, he wants Carole’s cooking. He wants so much and really anything other than to feel like his life is slipping faster out of his grasp with every moment he spends with Sebastian.

“I’m dating Sebastian Smythe,” Kurt says. And honestly, he’s proud of himself for sounding so calm. He really is. But the silence that follows his announcement has that calm shattering in seconds. He starts to ramble, going on and on, and tells his dad everything. How it started, how confused he’s been about Sebastian since they met, and how that confusion got worse when Sebastian kissed him, then had sex with him, and then all the sweet and amazing things he’s done for him and how he told Kurt he loved him. 

He tells him about how difficult it’s been with Sebastian being gone, and on top of that how hard it was, and still sort of is, for him to keep his feelings a secret in front of people. 

“And Dad,” Kurt says leaning his head against the bed from his spot on the floor. “I just don’t know what to do because I am so, so happy for him. I’m so proud of him. I think he’s amazing. I want all of this for him. I do, but the more I focus on him, the less I focus on me. I can’t even remember the last audition I went to. I mean sure, I’m doing great at Vogue, they’re promoting me soon, which thank god because if I have to edit one more intern blog post while Cayden just sits--”

“Kurt,” Burt says, getting him back on track. 

“Right,” Kurt says and takes a deep breath. “I’m so confused. And I … I need help.”

Kurt lets the silence hang while his dad collects his thoughts

After a minute, Burt speaks. “Do you love him?”

“So much,” Kurt says softly. 

“Well, I hate to break it to you kid, but that makes any decision you make in this hard,” Burt says. “I’ve known you your entire life, so I know the instinct to rush through things is your first choice, but you have to realize son that people come to grips with things at their own pace.

“When you came out to me, no one put a time limit or expiration date on you,” Burt says. “You did it on your own time. And even though I can admit that I used to have some stubborn ways of thinking, I was nowhere near as closed minded as the Smythes. And I’m okay with saying that because I’ve been working with those boneheads for years now.”

Kurt can’t help but smile at that. 

“So cut Sebastian some slack on that, okay? And if you can’t, if you decide you don’t want to hide your relationship, end it now,” Burt says. “Better to stop it before it gets any deeper.”

Kurt nods as Burt continues, “And you have to keep in mind that scrutiny comes with the job you both are signed up for. I’ve seen those broadway blogs. Those fans can be just as intrusive. I remember you telling me about that Borle guy who had those crazy fans stalking him or something like that. So sure, Sebastian’s fame is on a larger scale or whatever, but the problem will remain the same whether he’s acting on Broadway or on my TV.”

“But at least he’d be here,” Kurt says. 

“Then tell him all the traveling bothers you.”

“But that’s not fair to make him give that up for me,” Kurt says, “and I already told him that it doesn’t.”

“Then learn to deal with it, Kurt,” Burt says. 

“No one said love was easy. It ain’t. It’s hard and messy and sometimes downright depressing. But I’ll tell you what -- after all that hard stuff. It’s the most rewarding feeling in the world. Only second to being a parent.” 

Kurt smiles and closes his eyes on the sting of tears starting to form. “Thanks, Dad.” He says  softly.

“Of course, son,” Burt says. “And hey, , maybe when you’re home next week for Christmas you’ll have some time to clear your head. All that smelly city air might be getting to you.”

Kurt huffs out a laugh and nods, “I’m sure it’s that, Dad.”

“Well, I am always right, you know.” Burt says and Kurt can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Yeah, Dad, you are.”

 

*

Sebastian’s parents end up staying longer than any of them expected. Not only that, but they keep Sebastian busy with endless Christmas shopping, and parties, and fundraisers that limit their time together. Sebastian’s so busy with them that Kurt nearly misses his flight to Ohio waiting for him to come by the apartment. 

Kurt gets a text that Sebastian is waiting for him at the apartment once Kurt is already in a car and heading to the airport. Which wouldn’t be a problem if the original plan was still in tact. They could sneak away once they were home in Ohio and spend some time together. But Sebastian’s parents, full of last minute surprises these days, decide to celebrate at the new house this year. 

Kurt sighs down at the text and clicks through to call Sebastian.

“Where are you?” Sebastian asks, in lieu of hello.  

Kurt sighs again, trying to put every ounce of his frustration into it. “I’m on my way to the airport.”

“Kurt,” Sebastian says, “I thought you said you’d wait.”

“I tried,” Kurt says. “I was going to miss my flight if I waited any longer. Thinking about the security line alone is giving me anxiety.”

“But Kurt,” Sebastian says again. “I haven’t seen you… I’m not going to see you for another whole week now.” 

“Yeah,” Kurt says simply and looks out the window. 

“Yeah? That’s all you--” Sebastian cuts off and Kurt can hear him swear at a distance, like he’s pulled the phone away from his face. After a few second Sebastian comes back on the line. “Look, I get it. You’re pissed.”

“I am,” Kurt says. No point in denying it. 

“And I’m sorry, I really am. But it’s been  _ impossible _ , Kurt, to get away from them,” Sebastian says, voice tinged with desperation. “It’s maddening.”

Kurt doesn’t say anything, just continues to look out the window. Sebastian falls quiet on the line as well. 

“I have to go soon, Sebastian,” Kurt says. “I’m almost at the terminal.

“Just hold out a little longer for me, okay?” Sebastian says. 

“What?” Kurt asks. That hadn’t been what he was expecting to hear. 

“I know this, and all the secrets, and me being gone is not easy, but,” Sebastian takes a deep breath. “I promise it won’t be forever.”

Kurt pauses and gnaws on his bottom lip before he takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

Sebastian sighs.

“I’ll call you tomorrow?” Kurt asks.

“Call me when you land, I’ll definitely need a distraction from the god awful Christmas Eve party my parents are making me endure.”

Kurt laughs softly and nods. “I’ll call you once I get settled in. I gotta go. ”

“Okay, okay. I’ll talk to you later,” Sebastian says

They hang up after that and Kurt begins the long and annoying process of making it to his gate with just enough time to run, waving his boarding pass frantically at the attendants manning the entrance. 

Once he’s finally settled into his seat he pulls out his phone to change it to airplane mode and see’s a text from Sebastian. 

_ Sebastian: I love you _

Kurt smiles and types out  _ “I love you too” _ before switching it airplane mode. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so thrilled there are some of you still excited about this story! I hope you enjoy this next chapter. It gets really sexy and then really really angsty...

 

Once the appeal of a home cooked meal and someone else offering to do his laundry wears off, Kurt spends the remainder of his trip in Lima fielding questions from his Dad and Carole. 

_ How’s work? When’s the new promotion  _ really _ happening? Is that going to stop you from auditioning? Have you auditioned for  _ anything _ lately? How are things with Sebastian? What do you mean ‘Did I tell Carole?’ Don’t you know he tells me everything, Sweetie? Was I not supposed to? Who is  _ she _ gonna tell? Anyway, who are you hanging out with tonight? Is it Blaine? Have you talked to Blaine? _

It. Is. Exhausting. 

But as much as Kurt likes to complain about it, which he does ad nauseam with Mercedes one night over drinks, he can’t help but love being in Lima. It’s an odd sentiment if he’s being honest. His dad had been right about needing a reset. And being in the low pressure, no stakes environment of his family’s home had been just what he needed. The late night heart to hearts with his Dad didn’t hurt either. 

On his last night there, he spends some last minute quality time with his dad, i.e. he guilts him into helping him pack, when he gets a notification of an email from his phone. 

He wordlessly taps through to his email, not really looking at the preview, as he listens to his dad talk about some football scandal that Kurt only finds intriguing because it involves twerking. 

“So wait, he got fined how mu---,” Kurt trails off as he looks down at the email. He assumed it had been from work, so his brain is prepared for details of an upcoming event. He is  _ not _ prepared for and email from Stan Smythe. 

“Everything okay?” Burt asks.  Kurt looks up from his phone to his father in disbelief. 

“Sebastian’s show got picked up.”

“Well ...that’s great news isn’t it?” Burt asks hesitantly. “‘Cause you don’t looks so excited.”

“No, it’s wonderful. It’s just-- I got an email invitation to a party from his dad,” Kurt says. His confusion transforming slowly into anger. “That’s how I found out. Like how busy is he that he can’t pick up the phone to tell--”

Kurt stops and looks at his phone, now with an incoming call from Sebastian. He huffs out an annoyed sigh. 

“That him?” Burt asks. Kurt nods shortly as he stares down at the phone. He has half a mind to ignore the call. 

Reluctantly, Kurt taps at the accept screen and silently brings the phone to his ears. He waits.

“Kurt, fuck!,” Sebastian breathes out, then adds in a rush. “He already had the goddamn invite drafted. Fucking...” 

He trails off, and Kurt can hear him take a deep breath. “I mean I get it, they’re proud, but they didn’t even ask me. I’m not even sure if the public is supposed to know yet. Now Hunter is on the phone with the network finding out exactly what people can and can’t know about the show without telling them that my father might have potentially already spilled the news to hundreds of people.”

Sebastian takes a deep long breath. Kurt waits, unsure of what to say.

“Kurt?” Sebastian asks hesitantly after a while. 

“Oh, Um,” Kurt starts.“Congratulations?”

Sebastian huffs out a laugh and mutters a quick thanks and goes silent. Kurt’s brow furrows and he glances up at his dad who’s got a similar expression on his face. 

“I wanted to tell you first,” Sebastian says after a while. “But Hunter came over here to tell me in person, and then they wanted to toast. And before I could get away my dad sent that fucking email. I swear, Kurt, it’s only been like 20 minutes.” 

“It’s fine. It’s not a big deal,” Kurt lies, trying not to feel too guilty about the fact that he was livid not even 5 minutes ago. Kurt turns his back on Burt who is making a show of throwing his hands up dramatically. 

“It is to me,” Sebastian says and huffs out a sigh. “I’m sorry. This has all been a shit show lately.”

“Lately?” Kurt mutters under his breath before speaking up. “It’s okay. It really is. Anyway, let Hunter deal with your Dad.  _ You _ just focus on being at the apartment when I get there tomorrow.” 

“I will,” Sebastian says, voice strained. “I promise. But hey babe, I gotta go. Hunter’s calling me over.” 

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Kurt says. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Sebastian says before he disconnects the call. 

Kurt sighs and puts his phone back on the bed next to his suitcase. He studiously picks up a shirt and starts to fold it, carefully avoiding his dad’s face. 

“So, he got how much of a fine?”

“No, uh-uh.” Burt says, and Kurt looks up to find him shaking his finger at Kurt. “You’re not  getting off that easy. What was that?”

“Dad,” Kurt says and sighs. “It’s nothing.” 

“So is that how your relationship works? You get upset and he says all the right things to make it better?” Burt says. “That doesn’t sound like my Kurt.”

“Dad,” Kurt says again. “I was wrong. His Dad jump the gun. He explained it all. He really wanted to tell me first.”

Burt grunts in response and crosses his arms again. 

“Are you just going to stand there?” Kurt says and then gestures to the pile of clothes that still need to be folded. “We have work to do. And I’m only going to pretend a little longer that I care about this football stuff.” 

Burt sighs and silently picks up a pair of pants and starts to fold them. He makes a show of delicately placing it into the suitcase. Kurt smiles, monetarily appeased, and continues his folding. 

The minutes tick by in silence, and his mind races with thoughts of his relationship with Sebastian. Of course, conversations like this one help him put it all into perspective, but they also confuse him to no end. 

He lets his mind wander down each path he could take with Sebastian until he’s dizzy with all  the possibilities of hope, and loss, and anger. 

“I just want you to be happy, son,” Burt says, breaking Kurt out of his thoughts. “Remember what we’ve talked about this week.”

“Dad, Sebastian is...”

Burt puts his hand up to stop him. He shakes his head briefly and continues. He grabs at one of Kurt’s sweaters and roughly folds it into something akin to a misshapen ball.

“Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, first. If your well-being includes Sebastian, perfect. But it’s okay if it doesn’t.”

“What isn’t in my well-being, Burt Hummel, is that Tom Ford cashmere you’re manhandling.” Kurt says and points down to the sweater.  

Burt rolls his eyes and picks the sweater up and refolds it carefully under Kurt’s watchful gaze. He places it gently in the suitcase before turning a  _ ‘are you happy now’  _ look to Kurt. 

“Much better,” Kurt nods and resumes his task. 

“At least promise me this, kiddo,” Burt says, as he zips up Kurt’s suitcase. “You’ll try -- I mean really try -- to do what’s best for you, yeah?”

“Yeah, dad,” Kurt says. He walks over and pulls his dad into a tight hug.  “I’ll try.”

And he does. He makes a list in his head of all the things he’s talked about while here in Lima with his dad and friends. He starts setting goals and plans that make him feel hopeful as he was when he first moved to New York. He’s feeling light and inspired when he hugs his parents goodbye the next morning. He starts jotting down notes in his phone and shooting off emails with his resumé attached in the car ride to the airport. 

His dad had been right; a change in scenery, a hometown reset , had been what Kurt needed to refocus his mind. He feels his future blooming out in front of him, soaring higher than the plane he sits on now.  He’s going back to the city with a new plan, and more importantly a new outlook on things out of his control. He’ll work hard to stress less about work, he’ll make an effort to audition for more roles, and he’ll be a supportive boyfriend to Sebastian. He’s leaving Lima a cooler, more collected, and confident Kurt Hummel and by the time he’s in the air he’s convinced himself NYC is his to take.

 

*

As life would have it, the universe misses the memo about Kurt’s new outlook on life, and from the moment he lands, everyone seems to go out of their way to make his life hell. 

For starters the airline loses his luggage, causing a delay in him getting home, which he finds in a total state of disarray. He pauses in the doorway looking at the mess of lights strung everywhere and boxes of new years decorations mixed in with half-filled boxes of Christmas decorations. 

“What the hell is this?” He asks warily. 

“Kurt! We’re throwing a New Years Eve Party!” Rachel says, popping up from behind one of the boxes. “Oh! Welcome back by the way. How was Lima?” 

“It was great actually,” Kurt starts but Rachel cuts him off with a dismissive wave.

“Oh, I know. Lima is always pretty awful,” She says distractedly, already resuming her task. “I’m  _ so _ glad my Dads came to New York this year. And Kurt!” She says, moving on excitedly. “They surprised me with Hamilton tickets. And yes, before you ask, it is definitely just as amazing as everyone says. The guy who played the king even looked like Jesse a bit, which was fun to tease him about.” 

Kurt just nods, knowing he’s not going to get much of a word in about his trip, and heads to his room. He takes a quick look inside and frowns before turning back to Rachel. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Oh, well, Sebastian was going to wait on you, but Santana made him go with her to the liquor store down the street before it closed.”

Kurt sighs and wanders back into the common area, peering into all of the boxes. “Where did all this stuff even come from?” 

“Most of it is old stage props that I borrowed from work.”

Kurt nods his head in acknowledgement and reaches into a box of what looks like puppets for further inspection.  “How’s the new musical going anyway?”

“Great!” She says and then frowns. “Although I’m a little worried they haven’t announced that previews are in three months. People need time to buy tickets!”

Kurt just hums his agreement and looks around for a distraction. It’s not apart of his new outlook on life to crush Rachel’s dream of being in a musical as successful as Hamilton. He doesn’t have to look hard, because seconds later Santana is opening the door and ushering a box-ladened Sebastian and Jesse through the doorway. 

“Hi babe,” Rachel says excitedly and rushes over to greet him. Jesse puts the box of alcohol on the counter in time to turn and bend down for a kiss from Rachel. “I didn’t know you were coming over.”

“I’m glad he did,” Santana says. “Smythe almost dropped half of the booze.”

Sebastian sends her a glare as he stands up straight from where he’d been hunched over sitting down his boxes. “I wouldn’t have almost dropped them if you had warned me about the curb, or, I don’t know, carried a goddamn box yourself.”

“Okay, calm your tits,” Santana says and then moves to the boxes to start and put the bottles away. “Jesus, Hummel needs to get back soon so you can get laid and stop snapping at everyone.”

“Umm,” Kurt says and then clears his throat. They all turn and stare at him.

“Oh right, Kurt’s back,” Rachel says as she goes to peer in the boxes.

Sebastian pinches the bridge of his nose. “Rachel, what part of text me when Kurt gets in was confusing for you?”

“He’s only been here like 30 seconds,” Rachel says. “Plus, we got distracted catching up. I told him about that guy who looked like you, Jesse.” 

Jesse rolls his eyes, good-naturedly, and smiles a little as he looks in the boxes himself. 

“Well, at least we can be thankful we missed  _ that _ story again” Santana says, walking to put two bottles of white wine in the fridge. 

Kurt smiles tightly and moves to go to his room, he meets Sebastian’s eyes and tilts his head for him to follow. 

Sebastian closes the door behind him and immediately starts to apologize for not being here.

“Kurt, I’m sorry,” Sebastian starts, but Kurt just nods and reaches behind him to turn the lock on the door. “I told Santana I would go with her but I didn’t know it would be today and I tried to wait--”

The sound of the lock clicking into place quiets Sebastian. He looks back at the lock and then slowly to Kurt. 

Kurt smiles softly and wordlessly turns towards the bed, toeing off his shoes as he walks over and sits.

Sebastian follows him and once he gets close enough Kurt guides him to stand in front of him. Kurt puts his hands on Sebastian’s torso and slowly runs his hands up towards his chest. He reaches as far has his arms will let him, he grabs at the fabric and pulls, urging Sebastian down to his level. Sebastian obliges, their foreheads touching first before Kurt lets his hands travel to the back of Sebastian’s neck and he tilts his head back slightly to bring their lips together. It’s a sweet, simple kiss, but it sparks a fire to his insides. Suddenly he wants, no  _ needs _ , more. Sebastian, spurred on similarly, starts to take off some of their layers.

“God, I missed you so much,” He breathes against Kurt’s neck once he takes off Kurt’s scarf.

“Me too,” Kurt says, his voice already breathy. He tugs at the tangle of clothes that consists of Sebastian’s jacket and sweater combo. “Take this off.”  

Sebastian complies, pulling back to discard his jacket, tossing it to the floor before pulling his shirt and sweater off in one go.  Kurt works on doing the same and nods towards Sebastian’s bottoms to imply they should go too. 

Kurt gets to his knees once he’s out of his clothes and comes to the edge of the bed in front of  Sebastian, he pulls him in close, relishing the skin against skin as he wraps his arms around his waist and leans in for another searing kiss. 

When they pull apart for air, Kurt runs his hands slowly down Sebastian’s neck and trail them all the way down his chest, enjoying the slight shiver it stirs in Sebastian, until he settles on his hips. He nudges him a little and Sebastian follows his guidance until he’s laying beside him on his back. 

“Scoot up,” Kurt says and smiles as Sebastian hurriedly shimmies up to lean his back against the headboard. Kurt doesn’t break eye contact with Sebastian as he crawls to hover over him or when he leans down to take the tip of Sebastian’s dick into his mouth. Sebastian’s eyes close briefly in a moment of pleasure, but Kurt pulls off and his eyes snap back to him. 

“Look at me,” He instructs. Sebastian nods quickly. Kurt bites down on a smile before he resumes. 

Kurt takes his time taking Sebastian into his mouth in slow, deep motions, wanting to make up for lost time but also enjoying the feeling of being intimate like this again. He lets his mind forget all of the craziness that happened today. He forgets about the bumpy flight, and the lost luggage, and his annoying roommates and just focuses on the rhythm and slide of Sebastian against his tongue. Kurt lets himself get lost in pleasing his boyfriend. So much so that he doesn’t realize he’s been holding down Sebastian’s hips, stilling his attempts to thrust into the wet heat of his mouth or Sebastian’s urgent attempts to get his attention. By the time Sebastian grips at the back of his head just as his dick hits the back of Kurt’s throat again, there isn’t enough time for Kurt to pull off as Sebastian groans loudly and comes. 

Kurt manages not to choke, but does get a mouthful, which is more than he wanted at all.

“Sorry,” Sebastian says between breaths. “ I tried.”

“It’s fine,” Kurt says and crawls up his body and settles in his lap. He cups Sebastian’s face in his hands and leans down to kiss him softly. Sebastian’s hands immediately wrap around his waist. Once again, Kurt gets lost in the sensation of being held, and loved, and loving Sebastian in return. He affirms his commitment to him, this relationship, with every swipe of his tongue, each nip -- a promise to stay.  He’s fully content to just stay here and kiss, but slick fingers at his entrance brings his attention back to his erection pressed against Sebastian’s abs. 

He moans and rocks back against Sebastian’s finger. The first press of pressure reignites his want. Sebastian huffs out a laugh under him and nips at the underside of Kurt’s jaw. 

Maybe he’s feeling similar to Kurt, wanting to take his time and relish in being with each other again, or maybe it’s payback. Either way, Sebastian takes an achingly slow time opening Kurt up. Kurt’s skin feels on fire as he pushes in deeper, and stretches, and crooks his fingers in all the ways he knows that drive Kurt insane. 

Kurt’s ready to tell him to push in harder when he pulls his hand away all together. Kurt whines loudly and Sebastian leans forward to kiss him.

“Hold on, hold on” He says rubbing one hand soothingly at the small of his back while the other reaches under the pillow and grabs a metallic wrapper. He tears at the wrapper with his teeth and Kurt leans his head against Sebastian shoulder as he takes the condom out and rolls it on. 

Sebastian nudges Kurt to lift up and lay back, but Kurt pulls back and shakes his head. He leans down to kiss Sebastian and bites at his lower lip. He reaches behind him and guides Sebastian into him slowly. Kurt can’t help the loud moan that escapes him as he eases himself onto Sebastian  with a slow roll of his hips. 

Sebastian closes his eyes and lets his head thunk heavily on the headboard. “Fuck,” he grits out, hands gripping tight at Kurt’s hip. Kurt’s almost instantly overwhelmed with the pleasure of it,  how good it feels. He takes his time getting use to the stretch, the burn, the ache moving deeper inside of him. His breath hitches again once he bottoms out and he pauses. He puts his hands on either side of Sebastian’s head on the headboard. Sebastian’s eyes open slowly, meeting Kurt’s in an intense gaze. 

They stare at each other for what feels like a long time. He thinks he can hear his heartbeat over their uneven breaths, and Kurt feels his chest tightening with an emotion he can’t quite place. His hands grip tightly at the headboard.  

Sebastian runs a hand  slowly from Kurt’s hip and up his back, a renewed flush of his skin follows. 

“Hi,” Sebastian says, quietly, before asking,“You okay?”

Kurt nods. “I just need a second,” Kurt says and brings one hand to cup Sebastian’s cheek. He lets his fingers skate across his features, taking in the look of bliss on his face before he runs his hand through Sebastian’s hair. Sebastian hums in contentment as Kurt’s fingers caress slowly through his hair. Kurt settles his hand at the back of Sebastian’s head and tugs slightly. 

Transfixed, Kurt watches a gasp fall from Sebastian’s mouth. He tightens his grip in Sebastian’s hair and on the headboard as he rolls his hips back slowly. 

“Oh,” Sebastian says, mouth hanging open. His eyes flutter shut, and Kurt lets his head loll back as he starts to set a pace.

Sebastian’s hands roam over his body,  starting a slow trace down his back before settling on his hips. Kurt closes his eyes, getting caught in the moment again, and enjoys the ride for a few minutes before Sebastian shifts under him, changing the angle inside of him, and making Kurt gasps loudly. Sebastian surges forward to capture Kurt’s lips in a kiss when his hand travels down to Kurt’s ass, holding him in place as he thrusts up. He swallows Kurt’s moans and quickens the pace. Kurt moves both hands to the headboard and rolls his hips down at the same time. 

“Fuck. Kurt, Oh my go--,” Sebastian breaks off with a loud groan, grabbing him tighter around the waist. 

Kurt reaches down to wrap one hand around himself and starts to jerk himself off. It doesn’t take long for him to come, crying out loudly into the crook of Sebastian’s neck. He slumps against Sebastian who just holds him tight and thrusts up hard a few more times before he stills  and shudders beneath him. His loud groan is muffled against Kurt’s chest and his grip around Kurt feels tight.

After a while Kurt gets enough strength to climb off of Sebastian and plops down next to him. Sebastian laughs and leans over to give him a messy kiss before he gets off the bed to discard the condom. He lies back in bed and wraps his arms around Kurt. Kurt turns in his grip so that they’re facing each other. 

“That was,” Sebastian starts but then decides now is a good time to kiss Kurt again. Kurt laughs a little into the kiss and pulls back . 

“Merry Christmas,” He says.

“Mhm,” Sebastian says leaning in to kiss him again. Too soon, he pulls back quickly and looks at Kurt, alarmed. “Wait, does that count as my present, because I’m taking back those boots I bought you if it does.” 

Kurt rolls his eyes and hits his arm playfully. “You will not. And no, it’s not, but you’ll have to wait to get your present.”

“Why?” Sebastian asks.

“Because I had it sent to Ohio initially, and now it is currently in my bag which may or may not be on a flight to California right now. The airline wasn’t sure.” 

“Ah, okay,” Sebastian says and snuggles against Kurt’s side. “You get a pass for now then.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “Gee, thanks,” He says sarcastically. Sebastian just hums his acknowledgement. 

They lay there in silence for a while before Sebastian speaks up again. “I missed you so much,” He says and kisses Kurt’s neck. 

Kurt rubs a soothing, rhythmic circle at the small of Sebastian’s back and smiles. “I missed you too. How was it here? I know we talked about it briefly but was everything okay with your parents?”

Sebastian heaves out a big sigh and pulls back to nod. “Yeah, it was fine. They aren’t bad people, Kurt. They’re just annoying.”

“I figured. That seems to be hereditary,” Kurt deadpans. Sebastian retaliates by pinching his butt hard, making him squeal loudly.  

“God, not again,” Santana yells from somewhere outside. Kurt hits Sebastian again who just laughs. 

Sebastian wraps his arms around Kurt and pulls him in close before resting his head on Kurt’s chest. Kurt brings a hand to run through Sebastian's hair. Sebastian huffs out a contented sigh and shifts his head to kiss Kurt’s chest softly. 

“Everything is just okay when you’re not here,” he whispers into Kurt’s skin. Kurt smiles and give Sebastian’s hair a small, affectionate tug. Sebastian responds by just wrapping himself around Kurt more.

Kurt feels sleep creeping in on him as the warmth of Sebastian’s body blankets around him. Soon after, he’s out.

 

*

The next day, Kurt wakes up early. He takes a moment to relish in the embrace of Sebastian before he detangles himself from the sheets and the boy to go shower. When he gets out and back to his room he checks his phone and sees that he has a message from the airline with an update that his luggage has still not been found. 

“Wonderful,” He mutters, tossing his phone to the bed. He turns towards the dresser to get his outfit ready when he hears Sebastian stirring behind him. He grabs a pair of boxer briefs and slides them on before he walks over to crawl along Sebastian’s body. 

“Sebastian,” Kurt says in a sing song voice. Sebastian groans and turns his face into the pillows. Kurt laughs softly and kisses the back of his head. “I’m hungry. Let’s go get breakfast.” 

Sebastian groans, loudly, again but doesn’t move. Kurt leans in closer to whisper. “We’ll need energy for what I have planned for you later.” 

Sebastian moves then and quickly hops out of bed and out of the bedroom, not even pausing to cover his still naked body.

“Ugh! Goddamnit Smythe. I’m trying to eat here. Plus, don’t we have a “clothes on” in communal areas rule in this house?” Kurt hears Santana say.  Sebastian doesn’t reply, instead just closes the bathroom door on her remark. 

Kurt puts on his shirt and pants  and pokes his head out of the room to find Santana glaring down at her coffee.

“I do believe we have that rule in place because of you,” Kurt says, and she snaps her head up to glare at him. 

“Whatever. If I gotta follow it, so does he,” Santana says.  Kurt just huffs out a laugh and steps back inside his room and starts on taming his hair. He’s finishing the last touch on his hair when Sebastian walks into their room with a towel slung low on his waist. Kurt stares appreciatively, which of course Sebastian notices and makes a show of slinging the towel off his hips. 

“Close the fucking door, Sebastian,” Santana yells from the other room. “I’m tired of seeing your dick.” 

Sebastian waves her off and reaches behind him to close the door to their bedroom. Kurt pauses, looking contemplative towards the door. “Do you think she seems on edge?”

Sebastian looks over his shoulder as he pulls on a pair of boxers. “Santana? When is she not on edge?”

Kurt sighs and walks over to the drawer to get a pair of socks. “She just seems a bit more-- I don’t know. Maybe I’m imagining it.”

“Maybe not, “ Sebastian says, pulling a shirt over his head. “You’re pretty right about your gut feeling most of the time.”  

Later, layered in sweaters, jackets and scarves to brave the New York cold, they take to the streets in search for decent coffee. They find a quiet place and Kurt settles in a table in the corner as Sebastian orders.

“So,” Kurt says, breaking off a piece of his pastry almost before Sebastian can sit it down in front of him. “What do you know about the show?”

“Not much,” Sebastian laughs a little as he attempts to bat away Kurt’s hand. Kurt gives him an unimpressed look and he sighs and shrugs. “I know the network only ordered 13 episodes. We shot the pilot already, but I think we might have some reshoots. I’m probably going to have to fly out to LA and meet with the producers and a few network executives in the next week or so. I’m assuming that’s when I’ll know more.”

“Do you know where you’ll be filming?” Kurt asks and then thanks the barista who brings out their drinks.

“No,” Sebastian says. He looks away and stares off into the distance of the cafe.  “Probably Vancouver though.” 

Kurt nods, it makes sense even if it doesn’t make him feel better about the fact that he’ll be apart from him for months at a time.

“Well, we won’t worry until we know for sure,” Kurt says, holding on to his optimism he’d gotten in Lima. “And if it is Vancouver we’ll deal with it then.”

Sebastian looks back to him, his gaze intense and searching. “You mean that?” He asks finally. 

Kurt smiles and lets his legs hook with Sebastian’s under their table. “Of course I do.”

Sebastian smiles, relief flooding his features, before he picks up to take a sip of his coffee and lets a content silence fall on them.

Kurt rides this wave of contentment through the rest of the day and the days following. And he’s still feeling it on the night of their New Year's Eve party as he greets and mingles with his friends and guests. He lets it pour out of him in excited shouts as they count down to the new year. And he feels it buildup stronger as he and Sebastian sneak away to the staircase down the hall from their apartment to make out.

“Happy New Year,” Kurt says, smiling against Sebastian’s lips. 

“Happy New Year,” Sebastian says back, his hands hot on Kurt’s already flushed cheeks. 

And Kurt knows that if he holds onto this moment, let this memory simmer in his heart, he’ll never want to let go. 

Of course he has to, and a whole lot sooner than any of them were expecting. It’s only 3 days later when Hunter calls Sebastian, giving him a few hours notice of a plane he has to catch to Los Angeles to meet with some of the network executives. Sebastian tries to relay all the info about what he’ll be doing out there as he rushes around their room packing. Kurt knows he’ll be in meetings and will be doing table reads and screen tests with actors they might be adding to the show. It all seems like a blur, no pun intended, to Kurt and he’s not even the one who has to live it.

“Do you know when you’ll be back,” Kurt asks as he helps Sebastian carry down his bags to the car waiting for him. 

“No,” Sebastian says as he shoulders the door open. “Hopefully, I’ll only be in LA for a week.”

“All this for a week?” Kurt says, as he drops the heavy bags on the sidewalk. 

“Well, no. I’ll be in LA for a week but then Vancouver for some show stuff. They also want us to get settled into our apartments out there so we don’t have to do that when we start shooting. Something like that.”

Sebastian starts to load his stuff, and Kurt goes behind him to fix it into something more manageable. 

“So, you might be able to come back after you’re settled in?” Kurt asks as he rescues a tiny bag from being crushed at the bottom of the suitcase pile. 

“I doubt it,” Sebastian says looking around distractedly. “We still have 12 more episodes to shoot and I think we need four before mid March when they want to premiere it.”

 Kurt adjusts a few more bags in the car before he stands back to admire his work. He glances at Sebastian and notices him fidgeting. He puts a hand on Sebastian’s arms and squeezes it tightly. He waits for Sebastian to look at him. 

“It’s a shit show, and I haven’t even started,” Sebastian says.

“You’re gonna be great,” Kurt says and smiles at him. Sebastian laughs softly and nods his head. 

“Thanks, babe,” He says. Sebastian takes a step and leans in the slightest bit, like he’s about to go in for a kiss, but hesitates before stepping back to look around the crowded streets. He reaches over and pats Kurt shoulder roughly instead. “I’ll call you when I land. Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Kurt says, staring down at the spot that Sebastian just hit him. He’s trying not to feel too disappointed, but the fact that neither of them are sure when they’ll see each other next makes the stilted goodbye so much worse. “Have a safe flight, I guess?”

Sebastian smiles a little sadly and nods, Kurt knows without even asking that he feels the same way about their situation. Sebastian looks away and clears his throat before he shuts the back of the car and walks around to open the car door. He gives Kurt a quick wave before he slides in and closes the door behind him.  

As Kurt watches the car drive away he tries to ignore the pit of tension unfolding in his stomach. 

 

***

Kurt is thankful for his busy schedule in the weeks following Sebastian’s departure. He hardly has time to miss him after he’s put in charge of several big projects in both departments that have him working well past his normal hours. He somehow manages to fit auditions in his sporadic schedule, and have a social life -- albeit meager. 

Not that Sebastian notices. To be fair, he too doesn’t have time to linger on anything either with the producers trying to scramble together a season with almost half the time all the other shows have.

Sometimes they go days without talking to each other, but with their busy schedules all they can manage is leaving each other a sappy voicemail. 

After one particularly pathetic one from Sebastian, Kurt looks into the cost of plane tickets for the weekend of Valentine's day and immediately regrets it. He crunches the numbers in every way he can, but he just can’t afford the tickets. He almost breaks down and asks his parents for some money, even considers selling some of his clothes, before admitting defeat. 

The week leading up to Valentine's Day he tries to coordinate with Sebastian an available time to skype, but doesn’t lock anything down. And it’s not like he’s crazy about the day. He’s never truly been a big fan, even after Blaine’s high school efforts to sway him otherwise.  And no matter what Isabelle says, he is not moping, or wishing for this big romantic thing. But it does suck a little. It doesn’t help that everywhere he looks, he’s reminded of other people's excitement. Chatter on the subway about dinner reservations or plans for big romantic gestures, those goddamn pink and red hearts everywhere he looks in Midtown.

The only other person perhaps more annoyed by all of it  is Santana, who’s been in a particularly sour mood ever since Dani left on tour with the Queermore Girls. 

Kurt’s worked up the nerve to ask her if she wants to hang out with Adam, since he knows they’ll be alone for the holiday, by the time he walks into their apartment.

“I figured you’d be home early today,” Santana says from the couch. 

“Why?” Kurt asks. Santana just stares at him, Kurt looks at his watch and shrugs. He’s been working late a lot lately, he really hadn’t even noticed the time. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re home. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Santana eyes him warily. 

“So, I was thinking,” He says and leans against the back of the couch. “ Why don’t you, me, and Adam hang out this weekend since our significant others are out of the city. A sort of Galentines weekend thing, I guess.”

Santana goes back to glaring at him and stands to hit him with a pillow.

“Ow, what the hell,” Kurt says, and watches in bewilderment as Santana storms off to her room.

Kurt stares behind her for a few minutes before he gives up trying to understand and heads to his room. He opens the door and freezes as he takes in the sleeping form on his bed. 

“Oh my god,” Kurt says and drops his bag to the floor. The thud it makes causes Sebastian to shoot up in the bed, looking around wildly. When his eyes land on Kurt his eyes widen, and he looks down at his watch.

“Shit, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he says. He rubs at his face and looks back to Kurt, still looking pretty tired. 

Kurt walks over to him and gets on the bed with him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I would have picked you up from the airport, hell I would have come home early.”

“Surprise,” Sebastian says sleepily as he pulls Kurt against him. He leans up to kiss him, but yawns the second their lips touch.

“Umm,” Kurt says. Sebastian huffs out a laugh and leans his head against Kurt’s neck. 

“I’m sorry,” He says and then pulls back. “ Maybe I’ll make some coffee.”

“No, no,” Kurt says. “You should rest. Besides we have tomorrow and ... wait, when are you leaving?”

Sebastian frowns. “Early Sunday.”

“So, we have all day tomorrow,”  Kurt says and leans in to kiss him. “Let’s get some rest.”

Sebastian smiles a little and then sighs as he pulls back and sags onto the bed. “Thank God.”

Kurt laughs, feeling the lightest that he’s felt since New Years. He pulls away to take off his shoes, and decides to get up and close the door. Before he turns back to the bed he cuts out the light and slowly walks back over.

“Maybe we can wake up and go to brunch in the morning,” Kurt says as he settles back in next to Sebastian. Sebastian doesn’t say anything, and Kurt frowns in the darkness. “Sebastian?”

Sebastian lets out a soft snore and Kurt can’t help but smile again. He wraps his arms around Sebastian, laying his head on the sleeping man’s chest. He let’s the sound of Sebastian's even beating heart lull him into sleep. 

*

When Kurt wakes up he’s alone. For a second he’s confused and really hopes his mind hadn’t just conjured up an elaborate mirage of his boyfriend, but before he can spiral out too far, Sebastian opens the door and walks in with a light sheen of sweat covering him.

“Hey, you’re up,” He says, a little breathlessly.

“Why are you all sweaty?” Kurt asks.

“Good morning to you too,” Sebastian says, still smiling. He walks over and leans down to capture Kurt’s lips in a quick kiss before pulling back and stripping off his pullover and shirt. “I went for a run. But let me shower really quickly and then we can go to brunch.”

“You heard that?” Kurt asks. “I thought you were asleep?”

Sebastian smirks. “I just didn’t want to have a 10 minute conversation about brunch. I was tired.”

“You bastard,” Kurt says and throws a pillow at him. Sebastian catches it easily and tosses it back at Kurt. He follows it up by pouncing on Kurt and pinning him down to the bed. Kurt pushes him off and tries to scramble away, but Sebastian grabs him around the waist and brings him in close. “You’re getting sweat on my shirt.” 

“Maybe you should take it off then,” Sebastian says, voice deep now, and very pointedly presses his crotch against Kurt’s ass.

“What happened to your shower?”Kurt asks, trying to be coy, but already starting to turn in Sebastian's hold. 

“Might as well get good and sweaty to make it worth it,” Sebastian murmurs against his neck. 

Kurt’s body heats as he turns fully and captures Sebastian lips in a quick kiss. “How about--”

Kurt starts but Sebastian groans. 

“You didn’t even let me finish.”

“Kurt, all I’m trying to do is finish.”

Kurt rolls his eyes and pulls away from him off the bed. “Like I was saying. How about we move this two the shower so we can kill two bird with o--”

“One dick,” Sebastian says and scrambles off the bed behind him. “I like it.”

He smacks Kurt’s butt as he walks past him towards the door. 

 

*

“I don’t miss this,” Sebastian says as he tries to maneuver around Kurt in the tiny shower. “My bathroom in Vancouver is three times this size.”

“Mhm,” Kurt says, not as easily distracted from the naked boy in front of him. He lets his hands roam down Sebastian’s abs and revels in the more defined hardness there. “You’ll have to take me on a facetime tour when you get back.”

“Or maybe you can come see it yourself,” Sebastian says, his gaze following Kurt’s hands as they trail further down his abs. He leans in to kiss him and moans against his lips as Kurt’s hand wraps around his dick. 

“Working on it,” Kurt says and starts to stroke him slowly. 

Kurt tries to take his time. He’s in no hurry for his time with Sebastian to end. He teases Sebastian, bringing him to the brink of an orgasm twice, and then stopping before Sebastian has enough and pins him against the wall. He lines his dick up in the cleft of Kurt’s ass and rubs against him, releasing on Kurt’s back with a muffled groan against Kurt’s neck. 

Kurt starts to jerk himself off, but Sebastian turns him around and bats his hand away. Kurt huffs out an annoyed moan, but Sebastian just smirks and kneels down and takes him into his mouth. Sebastian clearly still isn’t on board with Kurt’s ‘taking their time’ plan and sets a fast pace that has Kurt pulling at his hair in warning in almost a minute. 

Sebastian pulls back just in time for Kurt to spill over his cheek. They both stare at each other in surprise for a second before Sebastian grins up at him. He leans forward and licks the tip of Kurt’s dick, catching the last few drops of his release, before sucking him down again. Kurt groans and lets his head fall against the tile with a thud. He’s feeling completely overwhelmed and he’s not sure if it’s his dick growing sensitive in Sebastian’s mouth or the truly pornographic nature of the moment that’s doing him in more. 

He eventually has to push Sebastian away when it starts to become too much. Sebastian stands and leans his face under the cooling spray -- which one of his roommates will yell at them for, for sure -- to wash the mess away. They then shift around so Kurt can rinse of his back. They lather up and wash off  again for good measure before they leave.

They can hardly keep their hands off each other, prolonging the process of getting ready, and pushing them well into lunch time. Neither one of them complains though. Once they finally do get dressed and ready to leave, Kurt actually has to hold back a groan of disapproval as Sebastian steps out of his embrace just before their elevator opens on the ground floor. 

“So, where to?” Sebastian says, an easy-going smile playing on his lips. Kurt takes a bit of pride knowing that he had something to do with that. 

“Visitors pick,” Kurt says, and grins at the mock wounded face he gets from Sebastian. “Kidding, but really you should pick since you haven’t been here in awhile.”

“I knew I kept you around for a reason,” Sebastian says before guiding him down a street. “I know just the place.”

Sebastian ends up taking Kurt to the sushi place he loves. When Kurt turns a curious eye on him. Sebastian shrugs. “I’d rather see you smile than eat at my favorite place.”

Kurt, touched by the sentiment, forgets himself and leans in to kiss Sebastian’s cheek. To his surprise once he’s realized what he’s done, Sebastian puts an arm around his neck and pulls him in closer as they walk inside. 

“It also helps that other people seem to know this place is a health hazard and avoid it as well. So, I can do this,” he says and then turns to kiss Kurt on the lips. 

Kurt smiles, despite the dig at his favorite dining establishment, as Sebastian guides them to a table in the corner. When the waiter comes over to take their order, Sebastian nods his head towards Kurt to rattle off what he likes and then orders some vegetable ramen for himself. 

“Should be safe enough,” he mutters as the waiter walks away. Kurt kicks him under the table. Sebastian smiles and launches into a story about his stunt-double. 

As he talks, Kurt gets lost in the realization of how much he’s missed him. Not only that, but how he’s missed them, and the ease of their relationship. Sure he has his roommates, and Jesse and Adam and now Dani and Elliott, but nothing quite compares to what he has with Sebastian. 

“Where’d I lose you?” Sebastian says. Kurt blinks, and focuses back into the moment. Sebastian rolls his eyes good-naturedly and spoons some of his ramen broth into his mouth. 

“Oh, sorry,” Kurt says and looks down at his plate of sashimi. He picks a piece up and dips it in his soy sauce. “I was just thinking.”

“Uh, oh,” Sebastian jokes, his eyes crinkling up as he smiles. Kurt stomach swoops dangerously at the site of it. Sebastian continues. “About?” 

Kurt feels his face heat a little but, and he shrugs. “It’s nothing. Just thinking about how much I missed this.”

“Cheating death,” Sebastian teases, looking down at Kurt’s plate. Kurt rolls his eyes. 

“No, stupid. You. Lord knows why.” 

“Probably my stunning good looks,” Sebastian says and picks up some noodles with his chopsticks. “Or my winning personality.”

“Yeah, all that,” Kurt deadpans before returning his attention back to the food.  After a few more minutes in silence, Sebastian nudges Kurt’s foot under the table. 

“So,” Sebastian starts. His tone has Kurt a little worried. “Tell me about your auditions. You never tell me much about them anymore.”

“Oh,” Kurt says, a little thrown by the topic. He thinks back to when his last audition was and grimaces. “ I guess that’s because there’s not much to tell. I go, I sing, I leave, I wait. And wait… and wait.”

Sebastian frowns, “Well, what about work? Any new progress on the promotion?”

Kurt sighs and shakes his head.

“So they still have you working in both departments?”

“Yeah,” Kurt nods. “But Isabelle just got new interns so at least that part of my job will be easier.  Now I just have to go behind them and fix mistakes. Which is annoying, but honestly a lot better than doing it all myself.”

“Well how long do they expect you to wait around?”

Kurt looks up and frowns. “What else am I supposed to do?”

“Quit,” Sebastian says. “Any other company would be lucky to have you.”

“It’s not that easy,” Kurt says.

“Why not,” Sebastian asks. “Even if you don’t find another job, you’d have more time to audition and follow up and stuff.”

“And what am I supposed to do about rent in this fantasy land of yours,” Kurt says, trying his best to keep his tone light. 

Sebastian’s tone softens a bit. “I can cover our portion of the rent, Kurt. You know that.” 

Kurt stares at him. He takes a long, controlled exhale and puts down his chopsticks. “I don’t expect there to be a rush of auditions available to me if I suddenly quit my job.”

“Then let me talk to Hunter,” Sebastian starts. “He found Santana these commercials. I’m sure he can--”

“Sebastian, drop it,” Kurt snaps. “I’m not quitting, and I don’t need help from Hunter or your money.”

“I’m just trying to hel--,” 

“Well this  _ isn’t _ helping,” Kurt says a little louder than he means to . Sebastian’s frown deepens and Kurt looks away. He notices suddenly that a few more people have joined them in the restaurant since they got here and are now looking their way after his outburst. He blushes and looks back to his plate before he can make eye contact with anyone. After a few minutes of tense silence, Sebastian clears his throat. 

“I’m sorry,” He starts. “I wasn’t trying to--”

“I know,” Kurt interrupts, He looks to Sebastian and gives him a tight smile before glancing around at the restaurant again. When he looks back he sighs. “I’m sorry I snapped. I just... Let’s just not talk about it right now. Okay?”

Sebastian looks at him for a long moment, and for a second, Kurt thinks he might argue with him about it, but eventually Sebastian nods and looks back to his food.

Kurt takes a deep breath, trying to let out some of the tension in his body. “So,” He says, voice cheerier than he feels. “How’s filming been going?”

Sebastian looks up at him, and Kurt can tell that he’s a little annoyed at his attempt to change the mood. Sebastian sets his utensils down with a sigh and wipes a hand over his face. For the first time since he’s gotten here, Kurt can see the tiredness in his features. 

“It’s been pretty brutal,” Sebastian says, he looks down to his glass of water and idly starts rubbing at the condensation on the glass. “Some of the crew, who’s been working with the network a while, keep saying it won’t always be like this. Like if we get picked up, we’ll have more time for episodes and stuff. But oh god, Kurt.” 

Sebastian slumps down a little bringing his hands to cover his face. “I never thought it would be this hard.”

“What?” Kurt asks, quietly.

“All of it,” Sebastian says. He looks up then, a bit of a helpless expression on his face.  “The late nights, early mornings, the cold, the distance, being away from my family and friends, from the city, from you. “

Kurt’s heart aches for him. He wants to reach out and touch him, comfort him, and tell him that it’ll get better. But he can’t, and he doesn’t know that. He settles on hooking his ankle around Sebastian’s under the table. Sebastian smiles appreciatively.

“This weekend was really the only time I could take off,” Sebastian says, picking up his chopsticks again and sighing as he adds. “When I land tomorrow, I’ll have just enough time to shower and maybe eat before I have rehearsals.”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt says. 

“No, no,” Sebastian says, shaking his head before taking another deep breath. With a roll of his shoulders he sits back up and smiles, a little forcibly.  “I shouldn’t be complaining. I know I’m incredibly fortunate, and grateful, and privileged, and all of that. And I know it’ll all be worth it. It’s just rough right now. You know?”

Kurt nods, he does understand. He feels the same way about his jobs Vogue.com. He’s hit again with the urge to reach out and touch Sebastian again. He scans the room and tries to assess the possibility of one of the other patrons recognizing who he is. Just as he’s about to say fuck it, his hand already inching towards Sebastian, a young girl, maybe in her mid-teens stands and heads towards their table. Kurt quickly pulls his hand back as she reaches them.

“Are you the Blur?” The girl asks without preamble. Sebastian startles a bit, and Kurt winces when Sebastian jerks his ankle away under the table. He quickly catches himself and he turns on his most charming smile and nods. Kurt can practically see the hearts forming in the girl’s eyes. 

“Ohmygodohmygod,” she breathes out in a rush. “Can me and my friend take a picture with you?”

“Of course,” Sebastian says and stands. The girl waves her friend over, phone already in hand and looks to Kurt as her friend approaches. 

“Do you want me to take it for you?” Kurt offers, saving her the trouble. She nods quickly before shoving it at him. Kurt waits for them to get arranged -- Sebastian sandwiched in between the two of them, an arm hanging around each of their shoulders -- before he counts down. “Three, two, one.” 

He clicks a few pictures, and hands the phone back to the girl. They squeal as they look at the preview and hurry back to their table, saying excited thank yous over their shoulders to Sebastian and Kurt. 

Silence falls over their table for a bit while they resume eating.

“I guess we better get used to that,” Kurt says finally. He smiles a little and glances over at the table of girls, “It’s kind of fun though. They seemed genuinely happy, too.”

Sebastian looks over his shoulder at the girls and nods. “Yeah, they do.”

“Maybe the next time someone will know your actual name,” Kurt smirks.

“Shut up,” Sebastian says, and kicks Kurt lightly under the table. 

After lunch they spend the rest of the day ducking in and out of shops in the Village, torn between the desire to explore the city while they have time, but also not be cold. They spend way too much time in The Strand buying silly NYC touristy shit to put in Sebastian’s apartment in Vancouver. 

At one point, Sebastian bends down to look at the collection of old vinyls and when he stands up, he stumbles backward against Kurt. 

“Whoa,” Kurt says, putting a hand to steady him. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian says slowly, blinking rapidly for a few seconds. “I think I just stood up too fast.”

Sebastian turns, and Kurt frowns. “You sure? You look a little flushed.” 

“Yeah, it’s warm in here and I’ve got on layers,” Sebastian says and loosens his scarf from around his neck. 

Kurt glances around the store, anxious to see if anyone is looking at them, and he hesitantly puts a hand to Sebastian’s forehead. 

“Ew, you’re sweaty,” Kurt says before he can stop himself.

Sebastian laughs and crowds Kurt into a bookshelf. 

“Never seemed to bother you before,” Sebastian looks over his shoulder for a second and then turns back to him and kisses him. 

“Sebastian,” Kurt says, shocked. He pulls away from him but Sebastian pulls him back. 

“No one’s around.”

“Right now,” Kurt mutters. He’s surprised that Sebastian is risking it, even if he’s secretly thrilled.

Sebastian looks like he’s about to lean in again, but then makes a curious looking face before he shakes his head, like he’s trying to clear it.

“Hey, you sure you’re okay? I’m starting to worry about you,” Kurt says. Sebastian smiles, and his eyes crinkle at the corner just a little bit before he grabs Kurt’s hand to squeeze it softly. He leans in again.

“You guys finding everything okay?”

Sebastian pulls away and gives the sales associate an easy smile. “Yeah, thanks man.”

The guy nods and keeps walking without a second glance, but Kurt urges Sebastian towards the cashier. 

“Let’s go before you do something else stupid,” Kurt grumbles.

Sebastian laughs again and Kurt pushes harder.

 

*

Kurt and Sebastian get back to the apartment as it nears dinner time. 

“We should go to that greek place down the street for dinner,” Kurt says, as he strips off his layers.  He watches as Sebastian takes off his jacket at a slower pace and frowns noting the odd behavior again.

“Yeah maybe later? I’m not really that hungry yet,” Sebastian says. He pulls a little at the fabric around his neck. “Is it way hotter in here?”

“Um, I don’t think so,” Kurt says. “I’ll check it. And we don’t have to eat now. I just thought I’d bring it up. Oh, hey guys,” Kurt says as he walks further into the apartment to find Santana, Adam and Jesse huddled around a box of pizza. 

“Hey man!” Adam says as he stands to shake Sebastian’s hand. “Santana told us you were here. I’m glad I got to see you.”

“Oh. Uh, yeah. thanks,” Sebastian says, and Kurt bites back a laugh, knowing that Sebastian’s not all that comfortable with how nice Adam is to him.  _ It’s just so hard to hate him for dating and dumping you when he’s that nice to me.  _

“Yeah man, welcome back,” Jesse says from his spot on the couch.  “How long are you here?”

“Only until the morning,” Sebastian says. Kurt reaches for a slice of pizza. Santana slaps his hand away.

“Ow,” Kurt says and pulls his hand back. Sebastian reaches for a slice and she slaps his hand to, but he slaps hers back and reaches again. 

“I gotta be out of here at like 4,” Sebastian continues, before handing the slice to Kurt. Kurt beams and sticks his tongue out at Santana before he takes a bite of it. 

“What are you, 12?” She mutters.

Jesse whistles, “Damn. That’s so early. Well it’s good to see you anyway. Rachel will be sad she missed you.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian says, a little distracted. “Where is the small one anyway?”

“Staying with her dad’s. They’re still here for previews,” Jesse says with the air of a defeated man. 

Adam laughs. “Not getting on with the future in-laws?”

“No, they’re great. And they love me, of course,” Jesse says. Kurt and Santana roll their eyes. “But it’s like being with three Rachel’s, which sounds nice in theory.”

“Does it?” Santana says, making a dramatic confused face.

“But it’s a little too much energy for 6 days straight,” Jesse continues on, ignoring her.

“I forgot about her musical,” Sebastian says. “How is it?”

“Umm, she’s great in it,” Jesse says.  This time, Adam and Santana exchange looks. Sebastian nods and looks to Kurt who just bites his lip and shrugs. He’ll give him all the details of the disastrous opening night later. 

“Sebastian, do you want some pizza?” Adam asks. 

“Um, I bought this for us?” Santana says and motions to the three of them.

“Actually, I bought it,” Adam says, and then grins. “And Sebastian and Kurt are welcome to our lonely hearts dinner.”

“ _ They _ aren’t lonely if  _ they’re _ together,” Santana says loudly. 

“Oh yeah. Kurt told me that the Queermore Girls are on tour,” Sebastian says, ignoring her. “Where are they now?”

“Austin,” Santana says quickly. Everyone stares at her and she coughs uncomfortably. “I mean, I think.” 

Adam smiles and nods. “Yeah, I think so.” He looks back at the box of pizza. “Sebastian, really, you can have some of this. We are  _ not _ going to finish this.” 

“No… I think I’m fine for now,” Sebastian says and puts a hand to his stomach. “I’m actually still feeling a bit full from lunch.” 

“Really,” Kurt asks. “Now that I think about it. You didn’t have that much to eat.”

Sebastian just shrugs and walks towards their room. “I’m gonna change.” 

Kurt frowns over his shoulder as he watches him disappear. 

“Is he alright?”Adam asks. 

“We had sort of an intense conversation at lunch,” Kurt says with a shrug, “ It may still be bugging him.”

“That seems to be a trend in this apartment,” Adam says, shortly followed by, “Ow, Santana stop kicking me.” 

Kurt eyes the pair of them, noticing the effort in which Santana takes to avoid looking at anyone. 

“Yeah?” He asks. He pauses to take another bite of his pizza.

“Dani problems,” Adam mock whispers to him.

“We are not talking about this,” Santana says.

“What happened with Dani?” Kurt asks.

“Santana has feelings and doesn’t know what to do with them,” Jesse says at the same time Adam says. “I think it’s the distance thing, honestly.”

“Hello?!” Santana shouts, “Did you assholes not hear me. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Santana, why didn’t you talk to me? I could’ve offered some advice,” Kurt says.

Santana looks at him, startled for a second, before she burst into laughter.

“Advice,” She says laughing harder as she points to Kurt, “From you? Oh, Kurt, that is rich.”

Offended, Kurt sets down his slice of pizza and crosses his arms. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m in a very loving long distance relationship,” He says. 

“Oh, okay,” Santana says and sits her pizza down as well. She claps her hands together and presses them to her mouth in mock thought.

“So let’s see, which part of your relationship were you hoping I’d embody?,” She asks with a tilt of her head. “Because last time I checked your days mainly consist of moping around like a sad little puppy dog waiting for the day when his owner comes back to throw him a fucking bone.”

“Um,” Adam starts, “Maybe we should drop--”

“No you guys wanted to talk, let’s talk!” Santana continues. She turns to Adam and points. “You don’t get to act like your relationship with Elliot is so special when you use Romantic Comedies as your baseline.”

“I don’t quite see what’s wrong with that,” Adam says to no one in particular. 

“And you are so self absorbed, you’re basically dating the female version of yourself,” Santana says to Jesse who is silent for a second before he blinks and shakes his head. 

“I’m sorry were you talking to me? I tuned out like a minute ago.” 

“Ugh,” Santana screams. “Whatever! The point is that none of you have a right to tell me how I should handle my relationship when none of yours is perfect. Especially you Kurt. I mean seriously, what nerve do you have telling me I should come talk to you about Dani?”

“Santana I was trying to be helpful--”

“Well I don’t need your help,” Santana says. “If I followed your logic,  me and Dani wouldn’t be talking at all. Even if we don’t make it, and the long distance does end us, at least I can sleep at night knowing I had the balls to be honest with her and myself. At least she knows how I _ really _ feel. Does Sebastian?”

She pauses for a beat and smiles at him. Kurt says nothing.

“Didn’t think so. You know what Kurt? Talk to me when you can say the same thing about you and Sebastian.”

Kurt can feel his face heat in embarrassment and the room grows tense with silence as the three of them look away from Kurt. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Santana,” Kurt says quietly. She ignores him and he’s not surprised when she grabs the remote and turns the volume on the TV up. Conversation over.

Kurt turns away and takes a deep breath, fighting off rush of different emotions he’s feelings. He’s part angry with Santana for being a bitch, part angry with himself for letting her get to him, and part annoyed that she’s got a point. 

He walks over to the kitchen, for a distraction, and finds it in a bottle of wine sitting on the counter. He grabs it along with two glasses and walks back to his room.

“How about wine for dinner,” Kurt announces as he steps into their room. He looks down at the bottle as he toes the door shut. “Some kind of Red blend. But it will do.”

Kurt looks up and his smile falters when he sees the sour look on Sebastian's face, “What is it?”

Sebastian looks down at his hands.

“What did Santana mean?” He asks, softly. Kurt’s heart skips a beat. Sebastian continues. “I heard her,” he pauses to clear his throat then swallows audibly. Kurt notices he’s still sweating even after he’s taken off his outer layers leaving him in just his jeans and undershirt.  

“Santana is crazy,” Kurt says, waving the wine bottle in the air for emphasis. He walks closers and bends down to Sebastian's eye level. “Are you feeling okay?” 

Sebastian looks up, and his eyes look a little glazed over, but there's a determination in them that Kurt rarely likes to see directed at him. 

“Kurt, I heard what she said.”

But Kurt isn’t listening. He sits down the bottle and glasses and moves to touch Sebastian's face. Sebastian grabs him by the wrists and squeezes. Not enough to hurt, but enough to get his point across. 

“Kurt,” he says and shakes his wrists a little. His voice is a little desperate when he continues. “Tell me what she meant about me knowing how you feel.”

“Sebas--”

“Please, Kurt,” Sebastian pleads. “Talk to me. What don’t I know?”

Kurt looks at him and his heart breaks. Sebastian looks on the verge of tears and Kurt shakes his head a little frantically. 

“I promise,” he says, pulling his wrists free from Sebastian’s grip before moving to sit next to him. He wraps an arm around Sebastian's waist and leans into him. “You don’t have anything to worry about.” 

He kisses his cheek and then turns Sebastian’s head towards him so he can kiss him full on. 

Sebastian pulls away and stands. “Kurt, it didn’t sound like --”

“Sebastian, maybe I don’t want to talk about this now,” Kurt says, exasperation bubbling over. “Sebastian, please. We have one night to celebrate Valentine’s Day and you being home and I don’t want to spend it talking about what our crazy roommate may or may not have meant by some stupid comment.”

“But Kurt,  if you’re unhappy,” Sebastian starts his hand tugging at his hair. “I need to kno--”

“I’m not unhappy,” Kurt exclaims, his voice going a little shrill.  He’s impressed with how much he believes it in that moment. He pauses, and sighs, for a moment he wants to tell him everything. How he’s been feeling, really feeling about the distance, about hiding, all of it. 

“It hasn’t been the easiest few months,” he hedges, and Sebastian closes his eyes tight, like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. He stands again and walks over to wrap his arms around Sebastian. “Look at me.”

He waits. Eventually Sebastian complies. “But, I love you.”

“I can’t lose you,” Sebastian whispers and brings his hands to the back of Kurt’s head and leans in. “Just tell me what I need to do, Kurt.”

“You won’t” Kurt says and leans in to kiss him. “You won’t lose me.”

Sebastian sighs and pulls him in for an urgent kiss. He backs Kurt against the bed and hears the wine bottle clatter against his foot before he’s pushed onto the bed. Sebastians on top of him in a second, his long lean body pressed hard against Kurt. 

“Love you so much,” Sebastian says when they break apart. “Miss you so much.”

Kurt just nods and rolls them over to straddle Sebastian’s waist. He takes off his sweater and shirt and tosses it to the edge of the bed. When he leans down to kiss Sebastian again, Sebastian hand comes up to stop him. 

Confused Kurt just tries again,but this time Sebastian pushes him away. 

“What are you--” Kurt starts, but then frowns as Sebastian’s face contorts in pain. “Babe, are you okay?”

“It’s my stomach,” Sebastian says and then pats Kurt’s legs frantically. Kurt complies and gets off of him quickly. Sebastian sits up slowly, color drains from his face as he does so. 

“Bas,” Kurt says reaching to his face, but he bats Kurt’s hand away and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“I think I need some water,” Sebastian says. Kurt nods and stands quickly.

“I’ll get you some--” Kurts starts but trails off when Sebastian stands a little shakily at first and then walks purposefully towards the door. He flings it open and practically runs to the bathroom where Kurt can hear him get sick.

Panicked, he runs behind him, ignoring the concerned and grossed out comments from the couch from Adam, Jesse, and Santana, and into the bathroom to find Sebastian hunched over the toilet. 

“Fuck,” Sebastian mutters weakly, and reaches up to flush. 

“Sebastian,” Kurt starts ,”You okay?” 

He regrets it immediately as Sebastian scoffs and pulls back from the toilet to sit against the bathroom wall. 

“What do you think, Kurt? ” he asks and Kurt can feel his skin heat. 

“Is everything alright?” 

Kurt turns to find Adam hovering in the bathroom. Suddenly he realizes his state of undress and crosses his arms in front of his chest. 

“Um,” Kurt starts, and looks back to Sebastian who has his eyes closed with his head tilted back, exposing his throat. There’s a worrying sheen of sweat along his temple. 

“Um,” Kurt says again, “I’m not sure.”

Sebastian huffs out a laugh, then groans, and his throat moves a little with the attempt to swallow down a wave of nausea. 

“Actually, can you get me a glass of water?” Kurt says to Adam. He nods and turns away and Kurt turns back towards Sebastian. He kneels in front of him and puts a hand on his knee.  He squeezes it softly. 

Sebastian slowly opens his eyes and blearily trains them on Kurt, who attempts to smile. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian says. He swallows again, this time with more effort. “Just fucking peachy.”

Kurt sighs and looks over his shoulder as Adam walks in and extends the water to Kurt. 

“Thanks Adam,” Kurt says and looks back to Sebastian. He pats his leg to get his attention and then motions him to take a sip of water. Sebastian leans his head forward and takes a few sips of water. 

“You need anything else? I can ge-”

“Some fucking privacy,” Sebastian says and pushes Kurt’s hand holding the water away from his face.

“Sebastian,” Kurt scolds. He turns to Adam and lifts the water in acknowledgment. “No, thank you for this.” 

“Sure, Just let me know,” He says and starts to turn away. “Feel better, Sebastian.”

Sebastian responds by putting his head in his hands and groaning loudly. 

“You didn’t have to be rude,” Kurt says softly. 

Sebastian looks up quickly and glares at him. 

“What?” Kurt asks. “He was just being nice.”

“You know what, Kur -” He starts and then stops to swallow. He closes his eyes and sits very still for a few seconds before he sits forward quickly and pushes Kurt a little to get past him to the toilet. 

Kurt get out of the way and turns his head just in time to avoid seeing the worst of it. 

“Close the fucking door,” Santana yells from the living room.

“Fuck you,” Sebastian shouts in to the bowl. 

Kurt sighs and stands to close the door. 

“Sebastian,” Kurt says. “ Maybe some more water will help.”

“Kurt, get out,”  Sebastian says. 

Kurt rolls his eyes. “Sebastian, don’t be dramatic.”

“I’m serious,” He says. He coughs and leans back and wipes his mouth. “Just get out of here.”

“I want to help--”

“Help how?” Sebastian snaps. “Can you magically go back in time and prevent me from eating at that fucking resturant?”

“Well, we don’t know for sure it was that,” Kurt says.

“Oh my god, get out,” Sebastian says on a groan and his head tilts back again. 

“Ok, ok,” Kurt says and sits the water down on the counter. “I’ll be quiet, and I’ll just--”

“Kurt.”

Kurt stops and looks at him. 

“Just go. I just want to be alone,” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

Kurt stands there for a second longer, unsure of what to do, before he kneels down in front of Sebastian and places both hands on his knees. 

“Hey look at me,” Kurt says. He waits for Sebastian to tilt his head in his direction, and he smiles softly. “I’m sorry this happened.”

Sebastian just huffs, and Kurt can’t tell if he’s laughing or just annoyed. He leans in, planning just to kiss Sebastian on the cheek, but Sebastian moves his face away and turns his body forcing Kurt to move his hands off of him. Hurt, Kurt sits back and looks down at the floor. After a few moments of awkward silence, only disrupted by Sebastian coughing, he stands. 

“I’ll bring you your phone so you can call me if you need something, I guess.” Sebastian doesn’t say anything, and with that, Kurt sighs and turns to leave. 

He walks, numbly, back to his room, shrugging off the concern from his friends on the couch. Okay really just Adam. 

Back in his room he closes the door softly and leans his head against it. He feels so confused and upset and sad. He takes a few calming breaths and tries to calm his anxious mind. He startles a little at the knock on the door. 

He  moves away and looks around the room. “Um just a second,” he says and turns to pick up his discarded sweater off the floor and hastily pulls it on. 

He opens the door and Santana is there looking bored as she hands him the phone. “Carole thinks it’s food poisoning?”

“What?” Kurt asks, confusion deepening. 

Santana rolls her eyes and brings the phone to her ear. “Carole, is there a cure for stupidity?”

Kurt rolls his eyes and grabs the phone. 

“Carole?”

“Hi Kurt,” She says. Kurt closes his eyes and leans against the doorframe, instant relief washing over him. Just the sound of her voice put him a little at ease. “What happened, sweetheart?”

“Um, I’m not sure,” Kurt says. “We had lunch earlier, and he was kind of weird the last few hours, but it sort of came out of nowhere.” 

“Hm, any fever?” 

“Um I think so? Maybe a small one”

“It sounds like it could be a little bug, but as soon as he’s able to stomach it, get some water, something with electrolytes like pedialyte would be better though, some and tylenol in him, okay?”

Kurt nods, and says “Yeah, sure. Um, thanks Carole.”

“Oh course, Kurt. You call me if it gets worse okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” He says, softly. He takes a deep breath. He’s honestly just relieved that Carole doesn’t seem too concerned about it.

“You doing okay?”

“Um, yeah,” He says, his mind already occupied with mentally locating all the items she listed in the apartment. “I guess.”

“You call me if you need me too, hun. I’m always here to chat, and I know it’s not easy watching your partner hurt.” 

“Yeah,” He says and he can feel tears starting to sting in his eyes. He sometimes forgets how much she means to him. “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, Kurt. Try to get some rest.” 

“Bye, Carole.”

He gives the phone back to Santana with a soft. “Thank you for doing that.”

She just rolls her eyes and walks away. 

Kurt sighs and walks over to his bedside table where he thinks there should be some pain medicine. He grabs it and then reaches for Sebastians phone and heads out. Halfway to the bathroom it buzzes with an incoming text. 

Kurt looks down at the preview.

**_Marley: Come back already!_ **

He slows to a stop and looks down at the text message. Another one follows seconds later. 

**_Marley: Not the same without you :-( I need you to distract me._ **

And then another one.

**_Marley: I’ll let you win this time ;-)_ **

Kurt’s heart thuds uncomfortably in his chest and he squeezes the phone tight. His mind wanders unhelpfully back to the night at Sebastian’s parents Brooklyn home where they made a game of having reunion sex. And winning said game.

Tears prickle at his eyes again and he takes a shaky breath in. Sebastian wouldn’t cheat on him. 

“Your being crazy,” he says to himself. He takes a deep breath and walks back to the bathroom. He knocks softly. 

“Sebastian?” 

After a few seconds of silence Kurt opens the door and steps inside. 

His heart aches as he looks down to find Sebastian hugging his knees to his chest and his head tilted back, his face lined with discomfort. 

“Sebastian?” Kurt tries again.

“What?” Sebastian says, without heat, but Kurt feels the sting of it nonetheless. 

“I brought your phone and some Tylenol,” Kurt say and has to fight the urge to throw them at him. 

“Thanks,” Sebastian says and reach out to take them from him. He sits the bottle down next to him and looks down at his screen as it lights up to reveal the text messages. Kurt’s stomach flips when Sebastian smiles and huffs out a laugh at the messages. He clicks through and starts to text back. 

“Carole said you should take the medicine if you think you can stomach it,” He says, and he is _ not _ trying to reading his screen. Nope, not at all. 

Sebastian looks up confused. 

“You called Carole?”

“Yeah. Well, no. Technically, Santana did?” 

Sebastian’s just looks more confused. Kurt laughs and shrugs.

“I guess she cares after all.”

Sebastian just shrugs and then groans and puts a hand over his stomach.

“Now that is something I don’t think I can stomach.”

Kurt just nods, distracted as he watches Sebastian turns his attention back to his phone. He smiles as another text message pops up.

“Who’s Marley?” Kurt asks. 

Sebastian looks up confused. “What?”

“Marley?” Kurt waves a dismissive hand towards his phone. Sebastian looks down and Kurt quickly adds, “I saw the name pop up as I was bringing your phone.”

“Yeah, um, yeah,” Sebastian says, as he finishes out the text. “She’s one of my co-stars. I told you about her.”

Kurt wracks his brain for any mention of the name before. “I don’t think so.”

“She’s the girl who’s playing my, um,” Sebastian falters. He looks around like he’s searching for something, before giving up with a small shake of his head. “I don’t know, counterpart?”

“Counterpart?” Kurt replies, unimpressed. “Like a love interest?”

Sebastian sighs heavily, “Sure, I guess. Yes, Kurt, why does it matter?”

“Why are you getting so defensive?”

“Why are you asking so many questions?”

“I’m sorry I got curious about the person sending flirty texts to my boyfriend!”

“Oh my god,” Sebastian groans. “You’re fucking jealous. Really? Now? Did I not fly all this fucking way to spend time with you?” 

“Why else would you not tell me about her!”

“Okay, Kurt!” Sebastian yells, “Sorry, I forgot to tell you about one fucking detail. I didn’t know I needed to send you a daily fucking itinerary of what I do and who I meet! Do you want me to send you my call sheets too?”

Kurt put his head in his hands and muffles his frustrated scream. When he’s done he takes a deep breath and turns away from Sebastian. He closes his eyes and take another one before he can speak again. 

“I don’t need that,” He says and turns back to him. “I wasn’t trying to imply anything, I just wanted to know.” 

Sebastian rolls his eyes and leans back against the wall. “Whatever.”

Kurt takes that as the end of the conversation and leaves. 

Back in the bedroom he methodically gets ready for bed; numb with confusion as to what just happened with him and Sebastian. He puts the trash bin next to Sebastian side of the bed for when he comes to sleep, and as he’s walking back around he almost trips over the forgotten bottle of wine. He huffs out an annoyed sigh as he reaches down to pick it up. 

He’s about to sit it down and get in bed when there’s a knock on his door. 

“Kurt?” 

Kurt startles at the sound of Rachel’s voice. He rushes over to open the door. 

“Rach, what are you doing here?”

She hugs him tightly around the waist. “Jesse texted me.”

She pulls back and frowns. “Is Sebastian okay?”

Kurt sighs, and rolls his eyes. “He’s fine I think. He’s still in the bathroom texting his “counterpart”,” Kurt says with air quotes to emphasize counterpart. 

Rachel frowns and looks over her shoulder towards the bathroom. She bites her lip in concern, lost in thought. When she looks back to him she smiles sadly then looks down at the bottle in his hand. She brightens and grabs it from him.. 

“Great idea! Follow me,” She says and grabs his hand tightly.

“Ow,” He says as he’s yanked behind her. 

“Where are you guys going?” Jesse asks from the couch. Kurt looks behind as Rachel calls over her shoulder.

“To the roof to get drunk,” She says. 

Jesse sighs loudly. “Wait up. One of us needs to make sure you don’t fall off trying to reenact an August Rush scene.”

Rachel scoffs. “Oh please. The Greatest Showman? Sure. But August Rush? Do you know us at all?”

“Yeah, because  _ that _ was the point babe.” Jesse says. He makes a pit stop to grab another bottle from the kitchen and then doubles back to the couch to grab a blanket before he follows them out the door. Kurt eyes the bottle in his hand and Jesse just shrugs. “Might as well.”

Kurt lets himself be pulled along up the last few flights of stairs and helps Rachel push the “locked” rooftop door open -- it’s only true deterrent being that it is insanely heavy--  and follows her along to sit near the edge. As Jesse follows behind them, he drapes the blanket across the two of them and then sits on the other side of Kurt before he wraps it around himself as well. 

Rachel opens the bottle of wine and take a long sip from it before she hands the bottle to Kurt with a grimace. 

“Classy,” he says and laughs when she hits him in response. He takes his own long sip of the wine before turning back to her to continue. “You didn’t have to leave your parents you know.” 

She just shrugs. “I think they wanted some alone time away. They rarely get date night in the city when they come to visit.” 

“Date Night?,” Kurt says looking down at his phone. “It’s, like, almost 11.”

“Where you think Rachel gets all of her energy from?” Jesse says and holds out his hand for the bottle. Kurt laughs softly and hands it to him.

“Where did Adam and Santana go?” Kurt asks. 

“They left to go get drunk at his place when you and Sebastian started fighting.” 

Kurt sighs. “And you didn’t want to go?” He asks.

Jesse shrugs and takes a sip from the bottle and passes it back to him. “Figured I’d be around and case you needed me.” 

Jesse looks at him sharply and clears his throat. “I mean, until Rachel got there, you know.”

Kurt smiles and looks away. 

“Uh, huh,” He says and takes another sip. 

They pass the bottle back and forth for a while, listening to the distant chaos of the city streets below. 

“Kurt,” Rachel says after a while. He turns to her, bottle extended. “No, well yes,” she says and takes the bottle and cradles it to her chest. She bites her lip, a worried expression on her face as she turns to look at him. He frowns.

“What is it?”

She takes a deep breath before she speaks. “Are you happy?”

Kurt looks away, down at his hands, and sighs. His mind tries and fails to produce an answer for her, but the last hour has him so confused and tired, his brain is just a mess of memories and thoughts and feelings. 

“I don’t really know anymore,” He says, after a long silence. For the first time all night he lets the full weight of how he’s been feeling fall down and he starts to cry. 

Rachel wraps her arms around him and leans her head on his shoulder as he cries. He feels Jesse’s hand at his back. 

“I just feel so confused,” He says through his tears. “One minute I’m so proud of him, and happy for him, and the show, and then the other minute I want him here with me. On one side I don’t care that he’s not out, and then on the other I feel rejected when he doesn’t want to be seen in public with me. I mean, what is my problem?”

“Hey,” Rachel says and pulls away to grab his arm and turn him in her direction. “Hey,” she says again with a little shake. “There is  _ nothing _ wrong with you. You’re entitled to feel this way, Kurt.”

“But it’s not fair to him when I can’t even tell him that I’m unhappy,” Kurt says. 

“Why can’t you?” Jesse says. 

“Because,” Kurt says and sighs. He takes a second to wipe his face, and then a few more to take several deep, calming breaths before he looks to Jesse.

“Because,” he says, again, “What if he quit and came back to New York? I would never forgive myself.”

“What if he didn’t come back?” 

“Jesse!” Rachel says. “Don’t say that.”

“What? It’s a possibility that Kurt being unhappy would not make a difference. He could decide to stay in Vancouver, stay in the closet, marry a girl or whatever.”

Tears spill over onto Kurt's face again. He hurries to wipe them away. 

“I’m not saying this to be an asshole, Kurt, but you need to know that that’s an option. And you need to tell him how you feel. So you can know for sure either way.” 

“I’m scared.” Kurt says after a few moments of silence. 

Jesse nods and reaches behind him to grab the other bottle of wine. “Well,” He says and twists off the cap. “Good thing we have wine.” he says and hands him the bottle. 

Kurt scoffs and takes it. Jesse puts his hand on Kurt’s shoulder and squeezes. ”You’ve also got us.” He says and points to himself and then Rachel. 

Rachel wraps her arms around him again and nods. “Santana too, even if she won’t admit how much she cares about you. She does.” 

Kurt nods and takes a sip from the wine. It’s not as good as the first bottle, which is fine since he’s clearly not worried about taste as he takes a long pull from it. After he’s done, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and sighs as he sits the bottle on the ground. 

“I’m gonna go check on him,” he says, resolutely, thinking he might as well start and get this over with.

“Wait, no!” Rachel says and grabs the bottle. “Let’s at least finish the bottle first.” 

Kurt laughs as he watches her enthusiastically try and chug some of the wine. He laughs even harder when she eventually doesn make Jesse recreate some of the dance scene from The Greatest Showman. He’s still laughing when they convince him to let Jesse recreate the scene with him as well. He’s laughing less when Jesse almost drops him; nowhere near the edge, but still. 

It’s over an hour later before they make there way downstairs. 

Kurt’s a little buzzed and feeling warm and lighter than he’s felt all night. Once inside, Kurt walks to the bathroom, but doesn’t find Sebastian there. He walks over to their room and turns on the light, expecting to see him crankily yelling at him from the bed to turn it off.

But Kurt stares at an empty bed. Dread seeps through his body. He feels like his body is moving in slow motion as he turns to look to the chair in the corner of the room that previously held Sebastian's weekend bag. 

The chair is empty.

Numbly, he walks back out into the living room where Rachel and Jesse are cuddling up on the couch with another bottle of wine and are whispering softly to each other.

“He left,” Kurt says.

Rachel and Jesse look his way. 

“What?” Rachel asks, getting to her feet and heading towards the bathroom like she’s going to check again.

“He’s gone. His bag is gone.”

“I’m calling him,” Jesse says and pulls out his phone. 

Kurt closes his eyes, the last bit of patience leaving him, and turns to walk back to the room. 

“Don’t bother,” he says and slams the door to his bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> This is incredibly overdue. The last 2 years hit me like a ton of bricks and I'm just now coming out of the fog. I hope you enjoy this first chapter. More to come. 
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


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